Tonight...

I am sad. (listening to: Ender softly purring on my lap)

It is a hopeful sadness, one that knows it is supposed to be melancholy and yet knows that it will end, giving way to a smile, a laugh, a clearing sigh.

Tonight's sadness is brought on my memory. But not mine. I get like this when I read a well-written book. I strive to make my own thoughts more articulate. More prosaic, more... meaningful. Speaker for the Dead does this to me every time, and I've read that damn thing dozens of times. Tonight, though.. it's a new book- one recommended to me by Natalie. It's her favorite, and whenever someone goes out of their way to tell me what their FAVORITE book is, I make it a point to read it. You can tell a lot about a person by their favorite book.

This one is called The Time Traveler's Wife, and I've had all 540 pages of it for just over a week. I couldn't put it down. It was incredible. I loved it. I just finished it, and it put me into this mood.

I wish I could describe this mood with a better voice than my own. Like Byron or Shelley. I want to describe it using words that make the reader feel it as though they were me. What I really wish is that I could bottle it, and savor it like a dry wine at some point many years from now. I love the way it feels in my head. Like a pretentious poet or philosopher. It makes me feel egotistical and florid, the way a robe and a leather-bound book instantly speaks with a british accent "This guy takes himself way too seriously." This feeling is done away instantly by anyone not completely in tune with it speaking to me, so I am somewhat glad that tonight, I am alone, with only my son on my lap, happily dozing.

I'm not actually even here right now. The open deck door I sit next to shouts at me every time a car drives by with the loud, incessant noise of rubber on asphalt; but that's not the noise I hear. It's a crackling fire, the sound of pine logs popping fast and loud, the sap melting and exploding in little puffs of white smoke. The ticking of my keys as I punch each one in turn is the long slow clucking of a grandfather clock, steadily meteing out each second of the time I have in this place. It's a room I know well, and I love the delicious bullshit that comes out of it. I do my best thinking here, my best self-reflection, and it always, ALWAYS manifests itself in things that would normally make my eyes roll, itself heavy with its own ego.

But to me, it's delicious. A savory fruit or a warm blanket, I can feel it permeate me in heady intellectualism. And what comes of this foray into mental masturbation? Usually, a piece of writing that is itself significant to only me. My favorite result of this place is an old story I wrote about a man and a woman seperated by a river. It never holds the same beauty and elegance to someone else, and I always end up feeling like a heel whenever someone reads anything I've done in this room. But to hell with it. This is me, and this is now, so it's real, and it's a part of me.

Please, join me here?

END TRANSMISSION...

Eloi, Eloi

What have I done? (listening to: Energetic Hold Music)

So, I'm sitting here on hold with a customer at work, and realized that I haven't blogged in much too long. Apologize. Mea Culpa. I'll try and blog while I'm solving these people's stoopid problems. (I love my job)

I shot my very first commercial yesterday. For Minnesota School of Business. It was... an interesting experience, and a very lucrative one. 90 minutes of work. Let me tell you something:

IT is quickly showing itself in all realms of business as a necessary and powerful language. I teach IT at Minnesota School of Business / Globe University to give students the edge they'll need to succeed in the marketplace. Along with their IT degree, they can become proficient in Database Design, Network Administration and Software Development. Our IT grads are confident, prepared, and in-demand.

And, cut. Things I've learned from this experience:

• I pronounce the word "our" like "are." This is not a good thing. Try it yourself sometime in conversation. I'll bet you do, too.
  
• Saying the phrase "business as a necessary" is a lot of s-sounds. It doesn't read well on-camera.
  
• 5 seconds is much faster than you think.
  
• The director will laugh at the first few times you muck up a line, but after the 10th or so, it's not funny anymore.
  

So, that was a humbling experience. I learned that I didn't like the work, but I like the paycheck. Ain't that always the way? I'll be getting a DVD of the spot in a couple weeks, so look for it here or on my website.

July 4th is rapidly coming up. If you can read this, there's going to be a big pool party at my place. It's going to be awesome. We're grilling (BYOM) and drinking (BYOB) and swimming (BYO... nudity?) and watching the fireworks (provided). Let me know if you're planning on coming so I can prepare. But do come. Everyone's gonna be there.

I've been very busy with Agamemnon opening up last weekend to a GREAT crowd. Thanks to everyone who could make it. We haven't been reviewed yet, but I'm hoping we will this weekend. That would be nice. If you haven't seen it yet, come check it out! I get a sword! And a hot mistress! What else is there?

Quick things I'm thinking about before I sign off.
- I don't care if Paris Hilton goes to jail or not. I quite literally have better things to do with my mental energy.
- Dr. Pepper is possibly the greatest soda ever.
- Though, Mr. Pibb and Red Vines DOES equal crazy-delicious.
- Please, don't let Peyton Manning hang out with your kids.
- If you like licorice, try Twizzlers Rainbow Twists. I promise you won't be disappointed.
- People are losing their verbal skills. If I have to make sense of one more insane customer's babbling, I'm going to go all Jackson Pollock on them.
- I had forgotten what it was like to have someone genuinely caring about your feelings. It's nice. I like it.
- Being inconspicuous about something only works when it's not the ONLY time you're inconspicuous. My co-workers don't understand this.
- The Twins are awesome. How awesome you ask? I'm glad you did. Allow me to leave you with this:


END TRANSMISSION...