Superheroes and Sidekicks

I request that all who read this reserve judgement on the overall tone of this post. I know how it sounds. Believe me. (listening to: Sweetness, Jimmy Eat World)

So.. I had the afternoon to myself today, and I decided rather than sit around and do nothing but play video games and frig in the rig, I would go and be productive. So, I took my trusty laptop to the Apple store and get her battery replaced. Stupid thing wouldn't charge. I stepped around the mall wondering what I would do with the rest of my afternoon, and decided to go to a movie. Having certain cinematic selections prohibited from solo viewing due to contractual obligations with my dedicated movie partner, I elected to see one that I had already (kind of) seen. Batman Begins. You see, bloggers, I had seen this movie with a start time of 10:30 on a work night with said partner and some friends of hers in a town quite far from my own. Needless to say, it being a 2+ hour movie, I missed certain elements. So, Batman it was.

But, this shall not be a blog about the film (which, by the way, is highly recommended on two key elements- 1) The actor who plays The Scarecrow and 2) the simple, uncomplicated fact that at the end of the film, Katie holmes is sans bra. Genius bit of directing. Genius.)

Nay, this is a blog inspired by an unlikely source- the previews. In fact, a single preview. And for a movie I really have no intention of seeing. See, the movie in question here is Sky High a by-the-numbers Disney flick about a high school for kids of superheroes. In one particular section of the preview, it is outlined that upon arrival at Sky High, each student undergoes a test. They must stand in the middle of the gymnasium while an insanely heavy object is dropped on them from above. The point? If the student is quick-witted or talented enough to use their given superpower, they are destined to become a superhero. If they are squooshed... Sidekick.

Which got me to thinking... (marvelous segue, I know) How many people live lives of quiet desperation? The mass of them, right Henry? HDT: "Right, Madjai." So, really... such a person has two choices. Fade away into the shadows and wait it out, or, step up to the plate and do something important- watch out for someone who truly is... important. A cheesy saying goes, "There are two ways to spread light. To be the candle, or the light that reflects it." Hmm. Makes sense. Sign me up.

Now, where is this all coming from, you may ask. Trust in me, my bloggites. This is not the Madjai you know, simply getting down in the mouth about life again. This is what I like to call "accurate self-assesment." Time for a reality check. Yes, it's true that I just made callbacks for Comedy Sportz, which leaves me part-way to one of my two main goals within 5 years of college. But let's be honest. Few people who set themselves a goal to live comfortably doing only what they love ever make it. I've accepted this. What I'm now learning to accept is the absence something I've always wanted for myself: Someone to love, who loves me. But, let's check the violins at the door, and get back to my point.

The trick about learning that you're not going to be a superhero is finding one who needs a sidekick, and learning how best to serve them. What can you offer them that they need? This is something I'm really good at. See, I'm pretty darn good at helping out a superhero find their keys, their cellphone, their iPod, whatever. I'm really good at always being there when they need someone, and I'm REALLY good at getting them what they need when they need it. Coffee, bagel, whatever. But the trick with sidekicks is... they're much more behind-the-scenes than you think. When the superhero begins to doubt their lot in life, it's the sidekick who tells them to snap out of it and accept the greatness. When the superhero doesn't think they can go on, the sidekick is there to pick them back up and put them on their feet. We're the extra leg, the wallet, the car, the dinner out, the whatever it takes to keep the people who make the world a brighter place to live keep shining. We're the mirror. And that's noble. No matter what anyone says.

And if the story ended there, that would be great. That was kind of a nice last line, too. Maybe I should end this there... but that wouldn't be the kind of blog you'd expect from me now would it? See.. a sidekick can only go for so long, before they start to wind down. We start to get jealous. Maybe Batman likes Batgirl a little bit more than me. See, when a superhero says, "I can handle this." What a sidekick hears is, "I don't need you anymore." And for someone who doesn't get a lot of glory, and who has to live in the shadow of greatness and never touch any of it, each sting feels so much worse. We can only take so many shots to the pride before we begin to break down, begin to lose faith, begin to harden our hearts and become more and more callous. We don't mean to, superheroes, we really don't. We don't mean to be snippy or snotty or rude or jealous, or any of the other attributes that make us seem so undesirable. We simply want to be... desirable. We want to feel needed. Appreciated. Needed was a better word.

So, I guess what this all boils down to is... we're sorry, big guys. We're really, really sorry for being such pricks all the time. But if you could only see yourselves the way we see you... you too would see why we wonder why you keep us around.

PS- The bra comment... tongue in cheek, folks.


kinda. ;)

Buried Treasure

Looky Looky what I found!! (listening to: an angelic choir)

So.. a long time ago, Biggy asked me to find an old story that he had written to me on one of my IM "away" sessions. Well. I found it. :)

The part at the end refers to the video game "Kingdom Hearts," which the group had gotten quite into about this time. Please note, I've left the spelling and grammatical errors in, to keep the "Freshness" of the story. Enjoy, as so many others have.

Andy says:
Why is it necessary for you to sign on three times when any average person would be ok with doing it just once? Hmmm? And now you're gonna be a bastard and not talk to me. You know what happens then… Stories.

So I'm on the family Yacht, and we're cruising around in the pacific off the Mexican coast. And we were grilling, and I had already eaten about 4 burgers and I didn't want to finish my 5th, so I tossed it off the side thinking nothing of it. Then my dad stops so we can get all set up to go wakeboarding.

So I'm splashing around trying to get the damn board on my feet. Have you ever tried to do that? It's hard as fuck. Then I feel something moving around in the water, but think nothing of it, thinking it's probably just the rope. So I get all ready and dad guns it. I fell down like you do the first couple of times unless you're a professional. Damn those guys. I feel something swimming around again and this time I'm a little freaked out because there is no slack in the rope.
Third time, I get up, but we're going pretty slow, because dad has the motor set in the water all wrong and I'm big so the boat is dragging a little, I tell him to turn it up. He misinterprets and thinks something’s wrong so he stops, suddenly there is something nibbling on my leg... Nay, not simply nibbling, but like a large dog "playfully" biting at my leg. I freak out a little and start thrashing around. Suddenly I get drug underwater, luckily I got a good breath in, I open my eyes (it's ok, it's salt water, good for the eyes) and see this Jaws-like creature tugging at my leg

I punched him in the face. and made it back up for some more air, he pulls me under again. By now, he has torn my flesh a little so I'm bleeding and a bunch of his little friends have show up. So I'm like ok, I have about a minute and a half of air. So I target the big one (by pushing R1) and take him the fuck out with some fira, then there's about 12 little ones. I’m thinking oh great just like seed two in the Pegasus cup. So I start using my berserker (or whatever) combo and take out about 6 of them. By now I'm down to like 30 sec of air. I'm down on magic and forgot to equip some ether back on the boat. I'm halfway through my hitpoints and I used up all my potion on Donald cause he's a worthless bastard.

So I'm like, fucking A. Just like Nam, me surrounded by 6 Charlie with like 4 rounds left in my gun. So I fucking start attacking this way and that. 2 down, 15 seconds left, 5 down. I'm down to 3 seconds, 1 fucker left and he's just out of reach so I do my rolly thing (yeah in water. I'm THAT good) and I whoop his ass, with one second left to ascend 15 feet to the surface. I come up gasping for breath and my dad is standing at the back of the boat cussing up a storm. He looks at me and says: "What the hell are you doing? I thought you fucking drowned. If you suck this bad at wakeboarding, I'm not pulling you anymore." I tried to explain what happened, but he just said "Baaa" and I got back in the boat and got drunk with my gay uncle on White Russians.

Andy says:
The end