An interesting Christmas, to be sure. (listening to: Dave Matthews Band, "Where Are You Going?")
Ahhh... Christmas. How wonderful the time of year. Everything lightly dusted with a coat of freshly fallen snow, the streets also white with snow and ice, the windows of your room frosted with intricate patterns of frozen water spiderwebbing its way across the pane. Some might think that God himself paints the earth this way purposefully. Like the white page, the earth ready to be re-written in a new year, fresh with beginnings and possibility. With all this optimism around me, why do I feel so down?
Maybe it's many reasons. Maybe it's because my brother is home, and reminding me just how possible it is for one person to make an impact on their corner of the world. Something I've failed to do since being released from the safety net of college. Maybe it's because the holidays are a time for gathering together with loved ones, and family gatherings are filled with couples sharing the presence of each other in comfort and joy just to be together. Something I have yet to find. Maybe it's because something is trying to show me just how pointless it is to try and save money to start a new life, as everything around me breaks down, forcing me to dump more and more of the green into it just to stay afloat. Something I have yet to learn, or at least to put into practice.
Maybe it's a thousand of these reasons, and millions more that have yet to congeal themselves in my head. Overall, there is a very large sense of lonliness, inadequacy, and foolishness that all seem to add up to a very lonely holiday season. Fighting with friends, being unable to keep up even the closest friendships so I can look at something around me and be happy with it. TO be able to point to something... anything and say, "Look at what I've made. I'm proud of this." Lately my foot seems to find it's way into my mouth so often that I often wonder if I'm standing on my head.
The thing I've been told to cure the holiday blahs is to make a list of everything I'm thankful for, and give thanks that I have all those things. But every item on my laundry list seems to resonate more with things I don't have because of my foolishness than things I can take pride in. Living, as I do, day to day, I often feel like a duck on a pond. On the surface, everything looks calm. But below the surface, I'm paddling around furiously just to be able to breathe. I seek comfort where there is none, and the more I turn to things I have sought comfort in before, the more I find them falling away from me.
"I want to hold on to something that won't break away or fall apart; like the pieces of my heart."
Monday, December 27, 2004
Friday, December 17, 2004
When in Rome...
Well, I had no idea I was so popular. (listening to: Bob Marley, "No Woman, No Cry")
And so, my friends, my eager and waiting listeners, bask once again in the erudite ramblings of a lonely twenty-something, seeking meaning, purpose and truth from a blue state surrounded by the ever-baffling reds around us.
Where did we leave off? Oh, yes... the purpose of men in a rapidly-becoming matriarchal society. C.W.- I don't know if I believe that chivalry must conform to the standard that Mr. Christian-by-the-book has outlined in his blog, but I do honestly believe that men catering to women, showing them deference and respect should not be lost to the wind as we bow in all-seeing confirmation of your rule over us. Yes, you've become everything our grandfathers feared you would when your grandmothers realized that having boobs didn't mean they had to be them. And yes, I'm hoping that someday women will realize (convince themselves erroneously?) that they need men just as much as we need you. And I don't think I'm alone in that.
Despite the teaser in the first paragraph of today's post, I won't be delving into politics. I think enough has been said both through Television, and mass e-mail forwards (yes, I'm looking at you, FWD Freaks). Bush won. That sucks. Are we going to have to live with it? Yes. So. let's do what Europe has done, and all give the bumbling idiot a shot again. After all, we're stuck with him for four more years. Might as well learn to live with him.
What else is going on... OH! I've got it. Ok, Here's what I want to talk about in this post. (Finally... some direction. Thank God.) Christmas presents. What should we base our purchases on this Holiday season? I was driving home from the store (where I myself rang up over $3000 of Video Game related holiday chaff in a four hour period) listening to the radio, when two local DJ's started talking about this caller who was having a crisis. Turns out she had bought her boyfriend some really nice ($1,000) golf clubs for Christmas. Something he had wanted for a very long time. And when he found out, he went completely ape. He thought that since she made more money than he did, she was rubbing that in his face by buying him a gift he couldn't possibly compete with monetarily. Now.. wait just a damn minute, folks. Have we gotten so caught up in our pocketbooks that we assess HOW MUCH people are spending on us for Christmas gifts, and have to weasel our way into finding out the MSRP for each package under the tree so we stay even keel with those we love? Does this seem particularly wrong to anyone else? I've experienced it first hand. Friends balk at me when I spend a sizable amount on them for Christmas, saying it's too much. Where is that written? Is there some sort of website that I should be referencing, some sort of mathematical formula that will yield my appropriate budget for my Christmas gifts?
$$ = (months known friend) x (average hours spent a week in contact with friend) + (number of "no way I'll forget THAT" moments) / (times they've embarrassed you) - (times they've slept with your significant other)?
[PS- If any of you want to apply the above formula and let me know how much I should be spending on you, that'd be awesome.]
Help me out, folks, 'cause it makes no f'ing sense to me. Can't I buy somethign for someone I know they'd like, and not have to worry about how many times Lincoln's face crosses the counter in the process?? (He's on the Five Dollar bill, by the way)
And so, my friends, my eager and waiting listeners, bask once again in the erudite ramblings of a lonely twenty-something, seeking meaning, purpose and truth from a blue state surrounded by the ever-baffling reds around us.
Where did we leave off? Oh, yes... the purpose of men in a rapidly-becoming matriarchal society. C.W.- I don't know if I believe that chivalry must conform to the standard that Mr. Christian-by-the-book has outlined in his blog, but I do honestly believe that men catering to women, showing them deference and respect should not be lost to the wind as we bow in all-seeing confirmation of your rule over us. Yes, you've become everything our grandfathers feared you would when your grandmothers realized that having boobs didn't mean they had to be them. And yes, I'm hoping that someday women will realize (convince themselves erroneously?) that they need men just as much as we need you. And I don't think I'm alone in that.
Despite the teaser in the first paragraph of today's post, I won't be delving into politics. I think enough has been said both through Television, and mass e-mail forwards (yes, I'm looking at you, FWD Freaks). Bush won. That sucks. Are we going to have to live with it? Yes. So. let's do what Europe has done, and all give the bumbling idiot a shot again. After all, we're stuck with him for four more years. Might as well learn to live with him.
What else is going on... OH! I've got it. Ok, Here's what I want to talk about in this post. (Finally... some direction. Thank God.) Christmas presents. What should we base our purchases on this Holiday season? I was driving home from the store (where I myself rang up over $3000 of Video Game related holiday chaff in a four hour period) listening to the radio, when two local DJ's started talking about this caller who was having a crisis. Turns out she had bought her boyfriend some really nice ($1,000) golf clubs for Christmas. Something he had wanted for a very long time. And when he found out, he went completely ape. He thought that since she made more money than he did, she was rubbing that in his face by buying him a gift he couldn't possibly compete with monetarily. Now.. wait just a damn minute, folks. Have we gotten so caught up in our pocketbooks that we assess HOW MUCH people are spending on us for Christmas gifts, and have to weasel our way into finding out the MSRP for each package under the tree so we stay even keel with those we love? Does this seem particularly wrong to anyone else? I've experienced it first hand. Friends balk at me when I spend a sizable amount on them for Christmas, saying it's too much. Where is that written? Is there some sort of website that I should be referencing, some sort of mathematical formula that will yield my appropriate budget for my Christmas gifts?
$$ = (months known friend) x (average hours spent a week in contact with friend) + (number of "no way I'll forget THAT" moments) / (times they've embarrassed you) - (times they've slept with your significant other)?
[PS- If any of you want to apply the above formula and let me know how much I should be spending on you, that'd be awesome.]
Help me out, folks, 'cause it makes no f'ing sense to me. Can't I buy somethign for someone I know they'd like, and not have to worry about how many times Lincoln's face crosses the counter in the process?? (He's on the Five Dollar bill, by the way)
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
The Sexual Revolution is Over
Wow.. has it really been over a week? (Listening to: Wonder Woman Theme)
I've been mulling this over for a long time now, and I've been trying to convince myself, and find a reason to believe that it's not true, but it truly is. The Sexual Revolution is over, and men have lost.
You see, women, your lot has been thrown and the die has been cast. You've become everything you aimed to become back in the 1950's when you burned your bras. In fact, we men have even stepped up your prize. You've not only gained equality among us men, it's gotten to the point where you don't even need us anymore. Allow me to explain.
Remember that young cave couple I mentioned a few blog posts ago? The man was needed in that relationship, because the woman could not go out and hunt on her own. The man was built stronger, faster than she, so she was left in the cave to tend to the young cave-children. And while the bump on her head hurt from being dragged there, she was sort of ok with her lot in life. Now, before all you feminists begin to raise Cain and tell me that I'm calling for a return to the "little-woman-takes-care-of-the-kids" society, let me allay your anger. I'm not saying that's what we should be, I'm just pointing out a fact. That's how things were.
Enter the 1950's. Women decide that they're not going to put up with being the "fairer sex" anymore, and things begin to change. Come 2004, and women look around and see that they can earn their own living, take care of children, be emotionally stable and make their own trail. Most importantly, they look around and see all these men and think, "Now.. why are you here?"
I used to wonder why there were so many single women who didn't seem to have time for relationships of a romantic nature. I see now that I was fooling myself. It's not that you don't have time for us, it's that you don't need us. Seriously, what does a woman need a man for now? Women used to need men to fight for them. To defend them against the evil of this world, and to drive fast cars towards cliffs to prove our masculinity so we could open the suicide door for you, and let you join us in our lives. But today's world has told us that "Being a man" is somewhat of an antiquated concept. No longer are we to fight each other to prove dominance. Sports and atletic competition are increasingly put-offs to women, and what we men stand for is becoming more and more dissatisfying to women. We can't be your knights in shining armor anymore, because the world has taken away all the dragons.
Men still need women, though, and here comes the sort of hole we've dug for ourselves. Men need to feel loved, to feel needed, to feel like we still matter in some way. We need sex, and intimacy more than women care to believe, and MUCH more then we're willing to admit. Women, on the other hand, don't need sex. Or physical love. They can go for years, even their whole lives without it and never feel like they've lost anything. A man goes for 25 years without sex, and his peers look down on him as if he is a freak.
So, Johnny, tell the women what they've won.
Alllll Righty, Madjai. Ladies, you've earned a life without dependency! That's right, you'll spend 65 years in a constant state of unease, pretending that you need men! You can do everything you need by yourself, but still society says that you need to get married. Fabulous prizes await you as you blaze your own trail to fame and glory, all the while owing your success to no one! You don't need the Marlboro Man, girls... You're perfect Just The Way You Are!!!
Think about this girls. Before you all tell me I'm a chauvenist pig and that I'm outdated in my thinking. It's not that we don't want you to be independent. We really do. We think you should get paid the same as us for the same work. But at the end of the day, we need you. Very badly. And you don't need us. And we're starting to wonder if we can ever go back to needing each other in a very real and powerful way. Or maybe we've gone too far, and soon, we'll all be single and loving it. Is that sad?
I've been mulling this over for a long time now, and I've been trying to convince myself, and find a reason to believe that it's not true, but it truly is. The Sexual Revolution is over, and men have lost.
You see, women, your lot has been thrown and the die has been cast. You've become everything you aimed to become back in the 1950's when you burned your bras. In fact, we men have even stepped up your prize. You've not only gained equality among us men, it's gotten to the point where you don't even need us anymore. Allow me to explain.
Remember that young cave couple I mentioned a few blog posts ago? The man was needed in that relationship, because the woman could not go out and hunt on her own. The man was built stronger, faster than she, so she was left in the cave to tend to the young cave-children. And while the bump on her head hurt from being dragged there, she was sort of ok with her lot in life. Now, before all you feminists begin to raise Cain and tell me that I'm calling for a return to the "little-woman-takes-care-of-the-kids" society, let me allay your anger. I'm not saying that's what we should be, I'm just pointing out a fact. That's how things were.
Enter the 1950's. Women decide that they're not going to put up with being the "fairer sex" anymore, and things begin to change. Come 2004, and women look around and see that they can earn their own living, take care of children, be emotionally stable and make their own trail. Most importantly, they look around and see all these men and think, "Now.. why are you here?"
I used to wonder why there were so many single women who didn't seem to have time for relationships of a romantic nature. I see now that I was fooling myself. It's not that you don't have time for us, it's that you don't need us. Seriously, what does a woman need a man for now? Women used to need men to fight for them. To defend them against the evil of this world, and to drive fast cars towards cliffs to prove our masculinity so we could open the suicide door for you, and let you join us in our lives. But today's world has told us that "Being a man" is somewhat of an antiquated concept. No longer are we to fight each other to prove dominance. Sports and atletic competition are increasingly put-offs to women, and what we men stand for is becoming more and more dissatisfying to women. We can't be your knights in shining armor anymore, because the world has taken away all the dragons.
Men still need women, though, and here comes the sort of hole we've dug for ourselves. Men need to feel loved, to feel needed, to feel like we still matter in some way. We need sex, and intimacy more than women care to believe, and MUCH more then we're willing to admit. Women, on the other hand, don't need sex. Or physical love. They can go for years, even their whole lives without it and never feel like they've lost anything. A man goes for 25 years without sex, and his peers look down on him as if he is a freak.
So, Johnny, tell the women what they've won.
Alllll Righty, Madjai. Ladies, you've earned a life without dependency! That's right, you'll spend 65 years in a constant state of unease, pretending that you need men! You can do everything you need by yourself, but still society says that you need to get married. Fabulous prizes await you as you blaze your own trail to fame and glory, all the while owing your success to no one! You don't need the Marlboro Man, girls... You're perfect Just The Way You Are!!!
Think about this girls. Before you all tell me I'm a chauvenist pig and that I'm outdated in my thinking. It's not that we don't want you to be independent. We really do. We think you should get paid the same as us for the same work. But at the end of the day, we need you. Very badly. And you don't need us. And we're starting to wonder if we can ever go back to needing each other in a very real and powerful way. Or maybe we've gone too far, and soon, we'll all be single and loving it. Is that sad?
Saturday, November 20, 2004
Losing a friend
Hey blogsite friends, how are we today? (listening to: Soul Asylum, "Misery")
Question for the day: What's worth fighting for? If you had, for example, a brother you didn't get along with all that well, would you just pretend to like him at holidays and family picnics? or mightn't you sit down with him and figure out just what it is that sits at the bottom of your dispute? Wouldn't it be better to sit down, break bread, and find out just what's wrong in your relationship? Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but if people actually talked about things that bothered them, rather than saying, "I'm fine," or "I don't want to talk about it," wouldn't the world be a better place?
Now, I'm not saying that there isn't a time and place for moments of pause. Time to reflect, and examine, what you're feeling and what that means. But when that time is over, don't you think that there are some relationships in your life that are worth fighting tooth and nail to save, rather than to just say, "You know, this just isn't working. I think I'm done with this." Maybe more marriages would last in this country if people were willing to talk over their problems, rather than just argue about them until the fight becomes so big that you can't see what the problem is anymore. It's all about the fight.
But it's not, people. And I mean this. So, listen the fuck up. Fighting gets you somewhere, sure. Letting off anger in a heated discussion can be very cathartic for both people, and may be the best way to let the other person know that the situation being created is completely unacceptable to you. But at the end of the fight, it really is time to kiss and make up. If you've taken the time to be friends with this person, then there's something underneath each one of your little annoyances that the other person enjoys. Whatever that may be, it's important to see that, and not lose sight of that. If the time comes to move on with your life, then that's the decision that needs to be made. But make damn sure that that's the only option left before you tell someone that you need to move on.
Personal relationships are some of the most precious things we as human beings have in this world, and to lose one for something trivial is a catastrophe. Love one another, be understanding, and show them that you love them once in a while. You may find that the trust you gain, and the friendship that you share might just be enough to save your life someday. And don't take that lightly. I know from experience.
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."
-John Lennon
"Be Excellent to each other."
-Abraham Lincoln, as quoted by _Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure_
Question for the day: What's worth fighting for? If you had, for example, a brother you didn't get along with all that well, would you just pretend to like him at holidays and family picnics? or mightn't you sit down with him and figure out just what it is that sits at the bottom of your dispute? Wouldn't it be better to sit down, break bread, and find out just what's wrong in your relationship? Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but if people actually talked about things that bothered them, rather than saying, "I'm fine," or "I don't want to talk about it," wouldn't the world be a better place?
Now, I'm not saying that there isn't a time and place for moments of pause. Time to reflect, and examine, what you're feeling and what that means. But when that time is over, don't you think that there are some relationships in your life that are worth fighting tooth and nail to save, rather than to just say, "You know, this just isn't working. I think I'm done with this." Maybe more marriages would last in this country if people were willing to talk over their problems, rather than just argue about them until the fight becomes so big that you can't see what the problem is anymore. It's all about the fight.
But it's not, people. And I mean this. So, listen the fuck up. Fighting gets you somewhere, sure. Letting off anger in a heated discussion can be very cathartic for both people, and may be the best way to let the other person know that the situation being created is completely unacceptable to you. But at the end of the fight, it really is time to kiss and make up. If you've taken the time to be friends with this person, then there's something underneath each one of your little annoyances that the other person enjoys. Whatever that may be, it's important to see that, and not lose sight of that. If the time comes to move on with your life, then that's the decision that needs to be made. But make damn sure that that's the only option left before you tell someone that you need to move on.
Personal relationships are some of the most precious things we as human beings have in this world, and to lose one for something trivial is a catastrophe. Love one another, be understanding, and show them that you love them once in a while. You may find that the trust you gain, and the friendship that you share might just be enough to save your life someday. And don't take that lightly. I know from experience.
"And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."
-John Lennon
"Be Excellent to each other."
-Abraham Lincoln, as quoted by _Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure_
Thursday, November 18, 2004
And it shall be writ...
No blog in a while. Sorry about that. (listening to: Caroline's Spine, "Nothing to Prove")
Today's blog will not be as thought-provoking, but rather I shall use my newfound ability to write things that will be read to espouse a list of geniuses. Noticeably absent from this list are people the common populous consider to be geniuses. Who needs that garbage? These are real geniuses. People who have poured out their talents for us high-brow, pretentious people to enjoy. Read, and know that you are inferior to them.
GENIUS:
The guys behind Homestar Runner.com ( Homestar)
The guys at Red vs. Blue ( RedvBlue )
The guy who made these )
Zach Braff (His Films)
Steve Jobs (the REAL founder of Microsoft)
Judd Nelson (His Films)
John Cusack (His Films)
Merriam and Webster
John Pemberton (Who?)
Nobuo Uematsu(Music)
Shigeru Miyamoto (Mario Man)
And lastly, Ugnok. The one guy who has brains enough to say.. hey.. I can probably carry that fire from the lightning strike to my cave and stay warm enough to make babies with Shegnar.
But that's not all, Kiddies. That's right... I've also got a list of Assholes...
ASSHOLES:
The guy behind carb-counting.
Whoever thought it'd be a great idea to BOTTLE WATER.. and then make a fortune.
The guy who decided to get rid of Pudding Pops.
Anybody who tries to keep arts out of the inner city.
Criminal Defense attorneys.
Tax lawyers.
The inside loss-prevention team from stores who've had cool stuff when I worked there.
Shoplifters. It's YOUR fault I spend $15 for a DVD at Target.
Kiddie pornographers.
The jerks at Hallmark behind Valentine's Day and Sweetest Day.
Vaulted.
Anyone who works for Koei(Koei Games)
The guy behind carb-counting. (Yeah, dillweed. You made my list twice.)
Until next time, bloggers. Keep your friends close. You never know when it's too late.
Today's blog will not be as thought-provoking, but rather I shall use my newfound ability to write things that will be read to espouse a list of geniuses. Noticeably absent from this list are people the common populous consider to be geniuses. Who needs that garbage? These are real geniuses. People who have poured out their talents for us high-brow, pretentious people to enjoy. Read, and know that you are inferior to them.
GENIUS:
The guys behind Homestar Runner.com ( Homestar)
The guys at Red vs. Blue ( RedvBlue )
The guy who made these )
Zach Braff (His Films)
Steve Jobs (the REAL founder of Microsoft)
Judd Nelson (His Films)
John Cusack (His Films)
Merriam and Webster
John Pemberton (Who?)
Nobuo Uematsu(Music)
Shigeru Miyamoto (Mario Man)
And lastly, Ugnok. The one guy who has brains enough to say.. hey.. I can probably carry that fire from the lightning strike to my cave and stay warm enough to make babies with Shegnar.
But that's not all, Kiddies. That's right... I've also got a list of Assholes...
ASSHOLES:
The guy behind carb-counting.
Whoever thought it'd be a great idea to BOTTLE WATER.. and then make a fortune.
The guy who decided to get rid of Pudding Pops.
Anybody who tries to keep arts out of the inner city.
Criminal Defense attorneys.
Tax lawyers.
The inside loss-prevention team from stores who've had cool stuff when I worked there.
Shoplifters. It's YOUR fault I spend $15 for a DVD at Target.
Kiddie pornographers.
The jerks at Hallmark behind Valentine's Day and Sweetest Day.
Vaulted.
Anyone who works for Koei(Koei Games)
The guy behind carb-counting. (Yeah, dillweed. You made my list twice.)
Until next time, bloggers. Keep your friends close. You never know when it's too late.
Sunday, November 14, 2004
Dei Potestas en Terra
Quote Follows: (listening to: Nobuo Uematsu, "Final Fantasy Theme")
"A great rabbi stands teaching in the marketplace. It happens that a husband finds proof that morning of his wife's adultery, and a mob carries her to the marketplace to stone her to death. (There is a familiar version of this story, but a friend of mine... has told me of two other rabbis that faced the same situation. Those are the ones I'm going to tell you.)
The rabbi walks forward and stands beside the woman. Out of respect for him the mob forbears, and waits with the stones heavy in their hands. 'Is there not anyone here,' he says to them, 'who has not desired another man's wife, another woman's husband?'
They murmur and say, 'We all know the desire. But, Rabbi, none of us has acted on it.'
The rabbi says, 'Then kneel down and give thanks that God made you strong.' He takes the woman by the hand and leads her out of the market. Just before he lets her go, he whispers to her, 'Tell the Lord Magistrate who saved his mistress. Then he'll know I am his loyal servant."
So the woman lives, because the community is too corrupt to protect itself from disorder.
Another rabbi, another city. He goes to her and stops the mob, as in the other story, and says, 'Which of you is without sin? Let him cast the first stone.'
The people are abashed, and they forget their unity of purpose in the memory of their own individual sins. Someday, they think, I may be like this woman, and I'll hope for forgiveness and another chance. I should treat her the way I wish to be treated.
As they open their hands and let the stones fall to the ground, the rabbi picks up one of the fallen stones, lifts it high over the woman's head, and throws it straight down with all his might. It crushes her skull and dashes her brains to the cobblestones.
'Nor am I without sin,' he says to the people, 'But if we allow only perfect people to enforce the law, the law will soon be dead, and our city with it.'
So the woman died because her communtiy was too rigid to endure her deviance."
(O.S. Card)
Surely all of us know the origin of this story, and the purest ending to it. The first story presented here shows perhaps, what most would see as an abberration. Corruption in the church. A rabbi protecting his own interests by protecting the favor of those in power. But the second makes an excellent point: Can the teachings of Jesus really truly be applied in today's society? Think of what Jesus taught us: Turn the other cheek. Give to the man who steals your coat your shirt as well. Be meek, and inherit the earth. To provide some context, just in the last week, according to Jesus, I should have found the guy who took my cell phone, and given him my laptop as well. I should have encouraged Vaulted to continue his/her beratement of me on my site to continue, and in fact provided them with a better means to do so. I should not seek to excel at my job, or in my acting, so as to not gather the attention or fame of the rest of the world. Do we know anyone like this in our lives? Someone who seeks not to excel in anything, but instead leads a quiet life of dull mediocrity?
Surely, even Jesus himself fell victim to unintentional star power. He rode into Jerusalem on the highest holy day on a donkey, while hundreds of people threw palm branches down on the road and shouted, "Hosanna! Glory be to God!"
Now, before all you Christian Conservatives get all uppity on me, let me explain. I'm not trying to claim Jesus to be a hypocrite, nor am I saying that Jesus himself sought celebrity status among the people of his time. I'm inviting dialogue: How can the teachings of Jesus be applied to a world (both then AND now) where they seem to be a recipe for disaster?
Are we to understand Jesus as giving us a theory, or a philosophy that should be followed in spirit, rather than in letter?
"A great rabbi stands teaching in the marketplace. It happens that a husband finds proof that morning of his wife's adultery, and a mob carries her to the marketplace to stone her to death. (There is a familiar version of this story, but a friend of mine... has told me of two other rabbis that faced the same situation. Those are the ones I'm going to tell you.)
The rabbi walks forward and stands beside the woman. Out of respect for him the mob forbears, and waits with the stones heavy in their hands. 'Is there not anyone here,' he says to them, 'who has not desired another man's wife, another woman's husband?'
They murmur and say, 'We all know the desire. But, Rabbi, none of us has acted on it.'
The rabbi says, 'Then kneel down and give thanks that God made you strong.' He takes the woman by the hand and leads her out of the market. Just before he lets her go, he whispers to her, 'Tell the Lord Magistrate who saved his mistress. Then he'll know I am his loyal servant."
So the woman lives, because the community is too corrupt to protect itself from disorder.
Another rabbi, another city. He goes to her and stops the mob, as in the other story, and says, 'Which of you is without sin? Let him cast the first stone.'
The people are abashed, and they forget their unity of purpose in the memory of their own individual sins. Someday, they think, I may be like this woman, and I'll hope for forgiveness and another chance. I should treat her the way I wish to be treated.
As they open their hands and let the stones fall to the ground, the rabbi picks up one of the fallen stones, lifts it high over the woman's head, and throws it straight down with all his might. It crushes her skull and dashes her brains to the cobblestones.
'Nor am I without sin,' he says to the people, 'But if we allow only perfect people to enforce the law, the law will soon be dead, and our city with it.'
So the woman died because her communtiy was too rigid to endure her deviance."
(O.S. Card)
Surely all of us know the origin of this story, and the purest ending to it. The first story presented here shows perhaps, what most would see as an abberration. Corruption in the church. A rabbi protecting his own interests by protecting the favor of those in power. But the second makes an excellent point: Can the teachings of Jesus really truly be applied in today's society? Think of what Jesus taught us: Turn the other cheek. Give to the man who steals your coat your shirt as well. Be meek, and inherit the earth. To provide some context, just in the last week, according to Jesus, I should have found the guy who took my cell phone, and given him my laptop as well. I should have encouraged Vaulted to continue his/her beratement of me on my site to continue, and in fact provided them with a better means to do so. I should not seek to excel at my job, or in my acting, so as to not gather the attention or fame of the rest of the world. Do we know anyone like this in our lives? Someone who seeks not to excel in anything, but instead leads a quiet life of dull mediocrity?
Surely, even Jesus himself fell victim to unintentional star power. He rode into Jerusalem on the highest holy day on a donkey, while hundreds of people threw palm branches down on the road and shouted, "Hosanna! Glory be to God!"
Now, before all you Christian Conservatives get all uppity on me, let me explain. I'm not trying to claim Jesus to be a hypocrite, nor am I saying that Jesus himself sought celebrity status among the people of his time. I'm inviting dialogue: How can the teachings of Jesus be applied to a world (both then AND now) where they seem to be a recipe for disaster?
Are we to understand Jesus as giving us a theory, or a philosophy that should be followed in spirit, rather than in letter?
Friday, November 12, 2004
Hello? Caller? Are you there?
Today, I REALLY want to reach out and touch someone. (listening to: The Bens, "Bruised")
Yesterday, as I was selling games to console and PC owners everywhere, some douchebag thought it would be a great idea to steal my cell phone. That's right, kiddies, my $200 N-Gage Gaming Deck / Cell phone is gone to someone else's pocket. Here's the best part: When I called my phone to find out where it was, the idiot actually answered it. Here, for your enjoyment, is our conversation:
??: Hello?
Me: Who is this?
??: Who is THIS?
Me: I'm the person whose phone you have.
??: Oh. Well, I just bought this phone.
Me: Ok. Well, that's MY phone you're holding.
??: Well, d'ya want to buy it back from me?
Me: No, I don't want to buy it back from you, I want my **Expletive Deleted** phone!
??: Sorry, man. Nice knowing you.
Me: Hello? What the **Expletive Deleted** is wrong with these **Expletive Deleted** idiots nowadays? I mean, **Expletive Deleted**, Who comes into my **Expletive Deleted** place of work and steals my **Expletive Deleted** phone? That's my mother **Expletive Deleted** phone? What **Expletive Deleted** good does it do your **Expletive Deleted** **Expletive Deleted**? I have got a half a mind to sit right **Expletive Deleted** here and call this **Expletive Deleted** all night until he picks up my **Expletive Deleted** phone again! WHat a **Expletive Deleted****Expletive Deleted****Expletive Deleted**.
Yeah... not happy. So, after thirty minutes (literally) of calling my phone, hanging up, calling again, I decide to call the police. The police come, and Officer Friendly tells me not to hold out much hope for my cellular sweetheart's return. Here's the thing, though: The phone, I don't really care all that much about. It's just a thing. It can be replaced. ALL my numbers are now gone. People I've met, old friends of mine, people from out-of-state, EVERYONE I had stored in my phone so I didn't have to have stored in my head are now at the mercy of some idiot who thought he could get a free phone. (Which, by the way, no longer works, so if you're out there, asswipe, you just stole yourself the coolest looking paperweight your ghetto ass will ever own. Congrats.)
So, here's what I need from all of you out there. Call my phone. Right now. If you know me, then you know my number. But I don't know yours anymore. Please call me so I can have your number again.
Oh, and if anyone out there is wondering if I really swear like that when I get angry... let's just say that Q-Bert would blush if he heard me rant.
Yesterday, as I was selling games to console and PC owners everywhere, some douchebag thought it would be a great idea to steal my cell phone. That's right, kiddies, my $200 N-Gage Gaming Deck / Cell phone is gone to someone else's pocket. Here's the best part: When I called my phone to find out where it was, the idiot actually answered it. Here, for your enjoyment, is our conversation:
??: Hello?
Me: Who is this?
??: Who is THIS?
Me: I'm the person whose phone you have.
??: Oh. Well, I just bought this phone.
Me: Ok. Well, that's MY phone you're holding.
??: Well, d'ya want to buy it back from me?
Me: No, I don't want to buy it back from you, I want my **Expletive Deleted** phone!
??: Sorry, man. Nice knowing you.
Me: Hello? What the **Expletive Deleted** is wrong with these **Expletive Deleted** idiots nowadays? I mean, **Expletive Deleted**, Who comes into my **Expletive Deleted** place of work and steals my **Expletive Deleted** phone? That's my mother **Expletive Deleted** phone? What **Expletive Deleted** good does it do your **Expletive Deleted** **Expletive Deleted**? I have got a half a mind to sit right **Expletive Deleted** here and call this **Expletive Deleted** all night until he picks up my **Expletive Deleted** phone again! WHat a **Expletive Deleted****Expletive Deleted****Expletive Deleted**.
Yeah... not happy. So, after thirty minutes (literally) of calling my phone, hanging up, calling again, I decide to call the police. The police come, and Officer Friendly tells me not to hold out much hope for my cellular sweetheart's return. Here's the thing, though: The phone, I don't really care all that much about. It's just a thing. It can be replaced. ALL my numbers are now gone. People I've met, old friends of mine, people from out-of-state, EVERYONE I had stored in my phone so I didn't have to have stored in my head are now at the mercy of some idiot who thought he could get a free phone. (Which, by the way, no longer works, so if you're out there, asswipe, you just stole yourself the coolest looking paperweight your ghetto ass will ever own. Congrats.)
So, here's what I need from all of you out there. Call my phone. Right now. If you know me, then you know my number. But I don't know yours anymore. Please call me so I can have your number again.
Oh, and if anyone out there is wondering if I really swear like that when I get angry... let's just say that Q-Bert would blush if he heard me rant.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Tao of Mario
As the blogging machine turns... (listening to: Mario Mario: "Mario's Theme")
As I sit at a friend's apartment watching her play Mario Sunshine (actually, playing for her when the going gets too tough... told you all I was the best gamer there ever was. Recognize.), I'm pondering what life must be like for Mario. Think about this for a minute: The guy starts out without a name, just being called "The Climber." That sucks. What a horrible nickname. Anyway, his life begins as he's trying to save his (ugly = pixellated) girlfriend from the grasp of a giant monkey. He jumps over barrels, some of them set aflame, reaches the top, and rescues her, and then finds himself back at the bottom, chickless once again, and he repeats ad infinitum. He finally gets sick of this and moves on to his next adventure. This time, he's got to save the same (ugly = pixellated) girlfriend who has been kidnapped AGAIN! (PS- this woman is the princess of an entire kingdom, and she gets kidnapped more often than Americans in Mexico. Who's in charge of security at her palace? Probably Luigi. Slacker.) This time, she's been taken by a dragon. Now, he's got to swim, jump, spit fire, grow big and small through the aid of Mushrooms (thanks, Lewis Carroll) and basically get his ass kicked a hundred times by turtles just to find his way to eight castles in the Mushroom Kingdom. And guess what, just as a kick in the nuts, every time he plows his way through, some smart ass has got to tell him that his girl is someplace else. Can't these guys get together and just send Mario to the right castle right away?
A few games later (most of which are centered around the same plot line, by the way.. lather, rinse, repeat x 3) He gets his brother, and a weird cross between a gecko and a horse named Yoshi to help him out. Even with all of these allies, he still can't seem to hold on to what he's after: that one, perfect girl.
Wait for it... point coming...
So, here's what I'm thinking... Is Nintendo trying to tell us something? That the thrill of life isn't in attaining the object of our desire, but the actual pursuit of said goal? Mario is never happy unless he can jump,. punch, or butt-slam his way into his girl's arms, only to lose her moments later to that same threat every time. And yet, every time, he chases her across huge amounts of fire spitting chained baddies, fish made of bones and even more turtles in detachable shells. He pursues her forever, and no matter what the cost to life and limb, he will prevail, and win the girl. Is Mario the Greatest Love Story ever told? Or do I happen to be the small minority who looks deeply into the 1's and 0's of a simple hobby and sees philosophy and meaning staring back?
Maybe I should take up jogging...
As I sit at a friend's apartment watching her play Mario Sunshine (actually, playing for her when the going gets too tough... told you all I was the best gamer there ever was. Recognize.), I'm pondering what life must be like for Mario. Think about this for a minute: The guy starts out without a name, just being called "The Climber." That sucks. What a horrible nickname. Anyway, his life begins as he's trying to save his (ugly = pixellated) girlfriend from the grasp of a giant monkey. He jumps over barrels, some of them set aflame, reaches the top, and rescues her, and then finds himself back at the bottom, chickless once again, and he repeats ad infinitum. He finally gets sick of this and moves on to his next adventure. This time, he's got to save the same (ugly = pixellated) girlfriend who has been kidnapped AGAIN! (PS- this woman is the princess of an entire kingdom, and she gets kidnapped more often than Americans in Mexico. Who's in charge of security at her palace? Probably Luigi. Slacker.) This time, she's been taken by a dragon. Now, he's got to swim, jump, spit fire, grow big and small through the aid of Mushrooms (thanks, Lewis Carroll) and basically get his ass kicked a hundred times by turtles just to find his way to eight castles in the Mushroom Kingdom. And guess what, just as a kick in the nuts, every time he plows his way through, some smart ass has got to tell him that his girl is someplace else. Can't these guys get together and just send Mario to the right castle right away?
A few games later (most of which are centered around the same plot line, by the way.. lather, rinse, repeat x 3) He gets his brother, and a weird cross between a gecko and a horse named Yoshi to help him out. Even with all of these allies, he still can't seem to hold on to what he's after: that one, perfect girl.
Wait for it... point coming...
So, here's what I'm thinking... Is Nintendo trying to tell us something? That the thrill of life isn't in attaining the object of our desire, but the actual pursuit of said goal? Mario is never happy unless he can jump,. punch, or butt-slam his way into his girl's arms, only to lose her moments later to that same threat every time. And yet, every time, he chases her across huge amounts of fire spitting chained baddies, fish made of bones and even more turtles in detachable shells. He pursues her forever, and no matter what the cost to life and limb, he will prevail, and win the girl. Is Mario the Greatest Love Story ever told? Or do I happen to be the small minority who looks deeply into the 1's and 0's of a simple hobby and sees philosophy and meaning staring back?
Maybe I should take up jogging...
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Sunday, Bloody Sunday
Another week has begun, and what do I have to show for it? (listening to: My Dad Snoring)
Welcome, bloggers, to another installment of what "Vaulted" would have you believe is a nonsensical musing of "poison," I believe is the term s/he used. I suppose at least someone is taking an interest in my blogging.. be it a negative interest, but hey.. we can't all be liked.
Let's see... went to church tonight. Tackled the always-touchy subject of sex and relationships. Now, before I give any of my viewers more ammunitiion to use against me, let me just pre-empt the flaming by saying that I haven't had a steady relationship in about three years. Yes, this would be what most catholic priests refer to as a "dry spell." (Perhaps they would use the term "vow of chastity," but I'm not ready to call it that.. yet.) But I think that the topic is a valid one, to committed and browsing individuals alike. Let's explore.
What, then, is the use of a relationship, between meeting and marriage? Well, some would say that there is no goal of a relationhip inbetween these stages, save to prepare and possibly filter to that final goal of ultimate commitment. However, I know of many people who have yet to marry in their late forties and early fifties and beyond, and they seem perfectly happy. Moreover, I know of a few young people (read: twenties) who see themselves as marked to lead the single lifestyle, never committing to anyone. Now, while I don't condone either philosophy as something to aspire to, but to each their own.
Personally, I've always seen the budding relationship with the (much) fairer sex to be an end in and of itself. Just the time spent with one another, the learning, the growing, the arguing, the eating, sleeping and breathing of the same air together to be a wholly satisfying experience. Now, while most cultures have marriage in one form or the other, I wouldn't doubt that the Mormon faith (while misguided in therms of polygamy) had a clue as to part of the human spirit: We are beings with great capacity to love, and to be loved. We love touch, we loved to be wanted, desired, needed, even made to feel angry by someone special to us. In this way, it seems almost a crime to be shackled to providing this gift to just one person for the rest of our lives. Shouldn't we be able to share our love with as many people as we can in our lifespan? Our friends, colleagues, co-workers, and acquaintances?
The answer to this question, while seemingly obvious, (yes) holds within it a deeper question, whose answer resounds with truth: What purpose does it serve to be close to someone? Why, the purpose of being intimate (emotional, not physical, sickos) with someone is to love them for who they are, and to be loved for what they see in you. I quote a wise philosopher: "When you fall in love with someone, you see them for who they truly are. And if it's true love, you see how they see you, through their eyes, so it's almost as if you're looking at yourself, falling in love with YOU. You see your own shortcomings, and failures, and annoying habits, and you accept them. Because if someone can love you with all of that, shouldn't you love yourself?"
People always say, "You can't love someone else until you love yourself, first." I throw my bullshit flag on this. I say that it's much more correct the other way: You can't truly love yourself until you know what it's like to be loved, in spite of who you are.
And I wonder if anyone has the courage to be truly loved like this. This, I think, is my ultimate goal. To find someone who can love me, despite being a dick.
Welcome, bloggers, to another installment of what "Vaulted" would have you believe is a nonsensical musing of "poison," I believe is the term s/he used. I suppose at least someone is taking an interest in my blogging.. be it a negative interest, but hey.. we can't all be liked.
Let's see... went to church tonight. Tackled the always-touchy subject of sex and relationships. Now, before I give any of my viewers more ammunitiion to use against me, let me just pre-empt the flaming by saying that I haven't had a steady relationship in about three years. Yes, this would be what most catholic priests refer to as a "dry spell." (Perhaps they would use the term "vow of chastity," but I'm not ready to call it that.. yet.) But I think that the topic is a valid one, to committed and browsing individuals alike. Let's explore.
What, then, is the use of a relationship, between meeting and marriage? Well, some would say that there is no goal of a relationhip inbetween these stages, save to prepare and possibly filter to that final goal of ultimate commitment. However, I know of many people who have yet to marry in their late forties and early fifties and beyond, and they seem perfectly happy. Moreover, I know of a few young people (read: twenties) who see themselves as marked to lead the single lifestyle, never committing to anyone. Now, while I don't condone either philosophy as something to aspire to, but to each their own.
Personally, I've always seen the budding relationship with the (much) fairer sex to be an end in and of itself. Just the time spent with one another, the learning, the growing, the arguing, the eating, sleeping and breathing of the same air together to be a wholly satisfying experience. Now, while most cultures have marriage in one form or the other, I wouldn't doubt that the Mormon faith (while misguided in therms of polygamy) had a clue as to part of the human spirit: We are beings with great capacity to love, and to be loved. We love touch, we loved to be wanted, desired, needed, even made to feel angry by someone special to us. In this way, it seems almost a crime to be shackled to providing this gift to just one person for the rest of our lives. Shouldn't we be able to share our love with as many people as we can in our lifespan? Our friends, colleagues, co-workers, and acquaintances?
The answer to this question, while seemingly obvious, (yes) holds within it a deeper question, whose answer resounds with truth: What purpose does it serve to be close to someone? Why, the purpose of being intimate (emotional, not physical, sickos) with someone is to love them for who they are, and to be loved for what they see in you. I quote a wise philosopher: "When you fall in love with someone, you see them for who they truly are. And if it's true love, you see how they see you, through their eyes, so it's almost as if you're looking at yourself, falling in love with YOU. You see your own shortcomings, and failures, and annoying habits, and you accept them. Because if someone can love you with all of that, shouldn't you love yourself?"
People always say, "You can't love someone else until you love yourself, first." I throw my bullshit flag on this. I say that it's much more correct the other way: You can't truly love yourself until you know what it's like to be loved, in spite of who you are.
And I wonder if anyone has the courage to be truly loved like this. This, I think, is my ultimate goal. To find someone who can love me, despite being a dick.
Saturday, November 06, 2004
The Maiden Voyage
Greetings, Salutations, Welcome. (listening to: VHS or BETA, "Solid Gold")
So, after having been motivated by a close friend of mine who owns a blog on this site (Now, where did I put that link... Oh, no.. wait... there it is: inch-deep ), I have decided that my life is also of such importance that I can no longer keep it to myself. I've never been good at journaling, but I decided that in order to try and keep a record of just what the hell I'm doing with this life I've been given, I should probably keep a record, if for no other reason than to show just how little I do.
A little bit about me before we begin. I tend to be a little melodramatic about certain things in my life, and my closest friends will most assuredly agree with this. Not to worry though, this trait will no doubt give that little extra... je ne sais quoi to my blog. Also, I have decided to give aliases to my friends to avoid them the embarrassment of being referred to directly in what will most likely be glowing speeches of their brilliance or scathing denouncements of their foibles. All done in love, of course, but if you're reading this and you know me personally, please e-mail me with your preferred moniker.
Also, I currently pay my bills with the blood money paid to me by video gamers for the service of providing them with their chosen crack: compact discs with interactive content. So, I plan on treating you all to stories of some of my more... shall we say... "special" customers. Also, I play many of these games myself, so if any of you out there fancy themselves gamers, you're welcome to e-mail me challenges via XBox Live (handle: Madjai) or Good Ol' Fashioned "Beat my score" rags.
I think that'll give you a pretty good bead on what to expect from this. If there's a service that I can provide for you all, please feel free to comment or e-mail me and I'll see what I can do. Enjoy your non-blogged lives, blog-readers. I'm out.
So, after having been motivated by a close friend of mine who owns a blog on this site (Now, where did I put that link... Oh, no.. wait... there it is: inch-deep ), I have decided that my life is also of such importance that I can no longer keep it to myself. I've never been good at journaling, but I decided that in order to try and keep a record of just what the hell I'm doing with this life I've been given, I should probably keep a record, if for no other reason than to show just how little I do.
A little bit about me before we begin. I tend to be a little melodramatic about certain things in my life, and my closest friends will most assuredly agree with this. Not to worry though, this trait will no doubt give that little extra... je ne sais quoi to my blog. Also, I have decided to give aliases to my friends to avoid them the embarrassment of being referred to directly in what will most likely be glowing speeches of their brilliance or scathing denouncements of their foibles. All done in love, of course, but if you're reading this and you know me personally, please e-mail me with your preferred moniker.
Also, I currently pay my bills with the blood money paid to me by video gamers for the service of providing them with their chosen crack: compact discs with interactive content. So, I plan on treating you all to stories of some of my more... shall we say... "special" customers. Also, I play many of these games myself, so if any of you out there fancy themselves gamers, you're welcome to e-mail me challenges via XBox Live (handle: Madjai) or Good Ol' Fashioned "Beat my score" rags.
I think that'll give you a pretty good bead on what to expect from this. If there's a service that I can provide for you all, please feel free to comment or e-mail me and I'll see what I can do. Enjoy your non-blogged lives, blog-readers. I'm out.
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