"Oh, what a tangled web we weave..." (listening to "Chain of Fools" by Aretha Franklin)
So,
Natalie has blogged about an... incident.. that occured at my place a couple of nights ago. I'm going to set the record straight about the goings on of that evening, but first.. her side. Please keep in mind that names have been changed to pseudonyms, and that this is from her point of view.
"After that, I headed back to [Madjai]'s, and proceeded to BEAT HIM AND [SPIKE] in cribbage. It was the most dramatic ending to a game, ever.
Let me see if I can get it right. (This is going to be really fun to read if you play cribbage, and really, REALLY lame if you don't.)
I had 14 points left to win, and [Madjai] had 8 points left. [Spike] was behind. He was dealing. I was to his left.
I had 4,6,6,9 after discarding.
[Madjai] said to me, 'I have the points, so, you have to peg in to win.'
I said, 'It isn't going to happen.'
He said, 'Well, that was anti-climactic.'
The first counting round, I believe, ended with [Spike] getting 1 or 2 points. The next round started with me playing my 4, [Madjai] playing...I think...like, a 2 or something, and then [Spike] playing a 7, to take it up to 13. I then played a 6 for 19. [Madjai], being the cool guy that he is, played a 6 as well for 25, and took his 2 points. He then looked to [Spike] to play...anything. Anything 6 or lower. [Spike] looked up and said...'Go'.
I looked up, and I suddenly realized that I had...another 6. That's right, folks, 3 6's in a row, and a 31. Which gave me 8 POINTS AT ONCE FROM COUNTING. Which took me within 6 points to win, and I had 3 15's and a pair...so...um...yeah.
It was incredible. [Madjai] couldn't believe it...and it made my heart smile."
Ok. Here's what really happened...
Going into the final hand of the game, I did indeed need 8 points to win. I got my hand and had six points. An Ace was turned up, which completed a run in my hand giving me more than enough to win. At which point, I did indeed look up at Natalie and say that I had enough to win, and that since she counted first, she would need to peg a good number and get the rest from her hand. At this point, my memory of the events differs slightly. Natalie looked up at me and her lips formed the words, "It isn't going to happen," but her voice said "You will sleep now..." And her voice sounded strange, as if from a far away distance, but located in the front of my head. The next thing I know, I turn to Spike, and his glasses melt off his face and the walls of my apartment begin to slowly crush in on me. Just before they reach the table we're sitting at, they fall away, outwards, revealing a desert scene at night. The sky was bright purple and I looked over at Natalie who was now wearing a princess Leia slave bikini, and had a chain going from her neck to Spike's arm. Spike grew to the size of a mountain and his voice boomed across the desert sands: "SEEK OUT THE DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH..."
I turned on my heel and ran, but as I ran the sands became loose under my feet and I stumbled across the dunes never gaining ground from the monstrous sight behind me. I remember reaching out for Natalie who only laughed at my misfortune, and as I was swallowed up in the sands beneath me, I heard the same faint voice say, "fifteen-two-four-six, and a pair is eiiiiighhtt...."
I awoke from my hallucination to see Natalie's peg firmly ensconced in the "Finish" hole and Spike looking at me as if he himself didn't know what happened. Natalie was hopping around my apartment like a bunny on speed, and all I could think about was "Where the hell was I while all this was happening??"
Now, for those of you who know Natalie, her psychic powers are not a thing of mystery. She claims to have fallen in league with forces not of this earth, and clearly used them in this situation to curry favor with the cribbage gods. Well, this is a tactic that shall not go unnoticed. I cannot be held accountable for losses while under the effects of some black magick spell. Therefore, I declare her victory null and void until such time as she can be proven to beat me without skills against which I could only prevail if Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy could keep a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor from dying or being turned into something unspeakable for longer than a year. Seriously.
END TRANSMISSION...
