So... I ripped the title of this post off from an early 90's pop song. Sue me. (listening to: High, by Feeder)
Is Love a feeling that you have, something that you share with someone, or something that is shown by what you do?
For example, if I think that I'm in love with someone who doesn't love me back, am I really in love? If and when I get over that feeling, will I look back on it and say, "Boy.. was I wrong about that." Or, will I always carry that scar and learn to bear it proudly, saying "This hurt, but I'm stronger for it."
Or, is love only really love when you have someone to share it with? Someone you lie next to and stay awake just to hear them fall asleep, and then mumble under their breath something only for you to hear (and possibly make fun of them later for)? Someone who can look into your eyes and see you just as you see them when you look into theirs? Is THAT what love means?
Or, finally, is it Love only when someone can look at the things you've done and say, "Wow. That person must really be in love with that other person. Look at what they've done." Can two people love each other without ever telling the other person? My friend Daisy, ironically, is fascinated with unrequited love. Is love still unrequited if both people feel the same way, but never actually say the words?
Or is it some combination of these? Can I love someone who doesn't love me, never share that love with them, but show how much I love them by giving up my love and allowing them to love another? Giving them up truly, completely, knowing they will never feel the same way for you no matter how much you give them? Or is it only really love when both people agree that they are "in love," and willing to do whatever it takes to preserve such an amazing occurance? When you consider the odds that the person you love actually loves you back, and that one of you is willing to say it... well, it's staggering just how unlikely that is compared with the heartbreak that occurs nearly every single hour of every day. From some pigtailed girl circling "No," to the wife who can't take not loving her husband anymore and leaves him... it seems that love is doomed almost from the start. Maybe it's better never to have loved at all, if the end of the road is so much more likely to end in pain.
What is love?
Baby don't hurt me,
Baby don't hurt me,
No more.
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1 comment:
You've asked a lot of questions. I'll stick with the first one.
I think that love is the first two of those things. Love can be unrequited, but it takes on an entirely new form when its shared between two people. Thus, I don't think its the same "love" before as it is after. Maybe it is at first, but eventually - just as love matures from infatuation - unrequited love has to mature into reciprocated love.
How this new love is different is mysterious. The blending of two people's emotions into one shared feeling is something I'll not attempt to explain. But I think that, for anyone who has experienced it, they know I'm right when I say the difference is there.
As for actions...not so much love. You can express your love through actions, but we all know that actions don't equal love. Moreover, the same actions expressed by love can be done in the name of other things - friendship, chivalry, general selflessness.
What do you think?
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