Turn, turn, turn. (listening to: Really? You can't guess?)
Listen, let me preface this by saying that I'm fully aware that it's people's job to try and cheer their friends up when they go through tough times. It's part of the job description, and I get that. But dammit, sometimes it's just time to feel shitty.
I don't want to sound ungrateful, or.. mean, but saying "You'll get over it," or "It'll all work out for the best" is surprisingly not helpful at this exact moment in time. In fact, it only serves to show me just how ludicrous I'm being. What some people need is just a validation that the pain they're going through is OK, and that to return to (or, perhaps just start being) the happy, shiny people that they once were is not doing the circumstance that caused the pain in the first place any justice at all.
We're marked by the pain we endure. We display scars, we show injuries, we take pride in the righteous battles we've fought. These are not things we are ashamed of, or take lightly. Allow me to draw an analogy.
Would you, given the opportunity, go to a solider fighting on the front lines and say, "Why are you so sad? Things will get better!" Would you find a terminally ill patient with 6 months left to live and console them with, "It could have been three!" I hope you are shaking your head.
There's no "socially acceptable mourning time." If you start to get sick of someone being sad about something, go find something else to do. Make a pie, shovel snow, do some long division. But don't try and make the person feel better by showing them a future colored with rosy hues and lollipops. Odds are, all they see is a future without the thing they've lost.
END TRANSMISSION...
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3 comments:
Why do you sad people always want to generalize and say how other sad people feel? Some sad people like to visualize a bright future. You don't, and it's okay. We love you.
I didn't mean to draw a broad generalization on the other side of the fence, so I apologize if that's how it came off. I'm just trying to draw attention to how "the other half" lives.
Some people may *want* to be cheered up right away. That's great. And I think that everyone likes to visualize a bright future, myself included, but the present is where we live.
some people do want to be cheered up right away ... that's what i generally try and do, cheer them up.
i keep having to re-learn with you that that's not what you want.
i'm still learning...
how much time do i get?
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