So, Friday night was something I've been looking forward to for a little under a year now. A Minnesota Swarm game. Minnesota has a professional Lacrosse team. Yes, it's a professional league. They have uniforms and everything. It's easily one of the most exciting and entertaining sporting events I've ever been to. And I've been to them all. Four 15-minute quarters, 5-on-5 action. The game had everything I could have wanted it to have to turn Jabas and his date into fans. A high-scoring game, a "performance team" (basically cheerleaders with midriff-baring ensembles), and even a fight! If you have the means and the time, please go to one. My favorite part is the announcer- he's catty and openly mocks the other team throughout the entire game over the Xcel loudspeakers. Think Ryan Seacrest, only with a sports jersey and a MUCH better sense of humor.
Some Highlights of the evening:
* (After the Swarm draw first blood 17 seconds into the match) Announcer: "That's right folks, for those of you new to Swarm games, they score every 17 seconds. The final score of this game will be 485 to 0." (Yes, his math was wrong. Actual final score would be 211 - 0)
* A woman behind me: "My husband told me a little bit about this, but I can never remember how many quarters are in a game."
* (The jumbotron shows a member of the aforementioned "performance team" sitting next to a 15-year-old kid, who looks COMPLETELY uninterested in the entire thing) Audrey and I at the same time: "He's gay."
* They had a rock-paper-scissors competition at halftime. The fat guy in the stupid hat did NOT win. And he lost to a girl.
* (Audrey was completely disinterested in the entire game until the fight broke out, leaving one Swarm player with his jersey and pads around his neck, exposing his chest.) Audrey: "Yeah! Yeah! YEAH!! DO IT!! ... Oh My God.. that was the most homoerotic thing I've ever seen! That was AWESOME!"
And the best part of the evening was this guy:
He was completely soused by the middle of the 2nd quarter, and decided to cheer for the other team. This did not sit too well with the 2 DOZEN kids sitting in his section, and after every Swarm goal, they would RUN down to where he was sitting and YELL as loudly as they could whatever they could think of about how awesome the Swarm were. He was drunk and fought with them, and we all loved it. At one point, one of the kids took his hat off and ran away with it. He may or may not have gotten it back.
Final Score: Swarm- 11, Knighthawks- 10, Madjai- Infinity.
END TRANSMISSION
3 comments:
Did you only want me to comment cause no one else has made a comment?
Ahem.
"The game had everything I could have wanted it to have to turn Jabas and his date into fans."
You don't even read. Who hates who?
kisses,
-TM
This sounds like some good, safe American fun. Sign me up. I'm there. But only if that guy is there too. With the little kids. Who do I call to coordinate all of that?
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