Official Anger

And I don't even refer to what I do as a "craft." (listening to: "Song for the Dumped" by Ben Folds Five)

So, KR and I went to go see Tartuffe last night at Jeune Lune. But first, some back story. Set the Wayback Machine for spring of 1999.

A young (and significantly less attractive) Madjai goes on a school field trip with his classmates to go see a play by Moliere called Tartuffe at Jeune Lune. It has the single most interesting entrance of a main character EVER, and is generally speaking the best thing this young man has ever seen with his own eyes. (It would be later this summer that he was to see his first breast in person. Just the one, though... not a pair.) Steven Epp plays Tartuffe with creepy, delicious evil in his eyes, and the entire cast is spot on in their portrayals of desperate family members. (For a plot summary, think "What About Bob," except in reverse, and evil.) This young man, who has already dabbled in acting, is now set. He wants to be an actor.

Now, last night, the show is almost exactly the same. The same actors (mostly) portray the same roles, and it's every bit as good as it was 7 years ago. Madjai is transported to a better time and place, and reminded again, why he is desperate to act for the rest of his life.

And then, the world comes crashing down. After a well-deserved standing ovation, the cast basks in our admiration for a while, and then one of the lead actors (name withheld to protect the asshole) motions for the audience to sit down. "May I have your attention for just a few moments..."

Now, in my head, I'm thinking, "Oh, he's going to thank us for coming out to see live theatre in Minneapolis. Good for him." I look around, and the just-over-300 seat theatre is nearly-full. Only the back section is mostly-empty, and I deduce that there are about 250 people here. A GREAT turnout for a Sunday night in the cities. But, Lead-Actor is moving on with his speech...

"We need your help." My ears perk up. Open Auditions?? Ushering for free tickets?? I'm yours. Tell me.

"If you'll look around, you'll notice that there are empty seats around you." My heart falls into my stomach. Oh No... Don't do this...

"We need your help as audience members to help us fill this house. We can't continue to bring you wonderful, provocative theatre without your financial support. Please, on your way out, take a blue form..." But I've already stopped listening. Or, rather, my ears are burning a bit too much to actually hear what he's saying.

Look, I'm no theatre snob. I don't consider what I do to be all that difficult, and I've never called it a "craft." or a "trade" or any of that. (Yes, I consider it art, but that's as far as I go.) But to stand there, on your multi-thousand dollar stage in your amazingly detailed and wonderful costumes and look out at 250 people who paid $24 EACH to see your show on a work night and tell them that it's OUR responsibility to fill those last 50 seats so you can put an extra $1,200 in your pocket is beyond reason.

There are DOZENS of theatre companies here in the cities who would KILL for a THIRD of your house, at HALF your ticket prices. And you have the balls to stand up there and put your "financial woes" on US?? And not only that, but to guilt us into by making us feel like if I don't bring 5 people to the next show, that I'm not doing my part for art in the cities?

I don't mind the "tell your friends to see theatre" speeches that some theatres give. Generally, I'm all for them. Please, Please, PLEASE go see theatre. And, my guess is that an audience member in general probably wasn't offended by that little speech. But as an actor, and one who doesn't get paid enough to live on acting (as YOU do, sir), I was VERY fucking offended. You are not the only company doing great work in this town, you're part of a community, a family. And we need your help, not your hubris. Take your 250 audience members and THANK them for supporting you. And we'll thank our 30. Let's all remember we're on the same team, alright?

*flips bird, drops mic*