Some things stay the same. (listening to: Complete, total silence)
So, here's the thrust. You don't hear many girls nowadays say "I can't, I'm washing my hair." And why don't we hear that? Because guys figured out the code. We know now that it just means you ladies aren't interested, and that we should bugger off, save our pride. So, you had to get creative. Well, in the recent past, a giant e-vite must have gone around to all the world's women and they all got together in front of the sacred council of the Y chromosome and while drinking completely organic tea and eating boca burgers, it was decreed that the phrase "I can't, I'm washing my hair" would be replaced with "You know, I'm just not looking for a relationship right now."
And the catch is, we men.. we actually believed that. After all, it seemed reasonable. And you ladies... you took a page from our book and explained things logically. "I just got out of a bad relationship, and I need some time off." or "I'm just really busy with my career right now." These, on the surface, seem like rational arguments. But the thing is ladies, you really should all compare notes with each other and eased this parlance into usage. When too many of y'all use it on the same guy.. the jig is up. And this guy has found out your code.
Guys, this clever and seemingly-rational turn of phrase holds no more truth than what it replaced. Sure, maybe they really are just "washing their hair." But in all likelihood, it's not that they don't want a relationship. They just don't want one with you.
It's a hard fact to get used to. Trust me.
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7 comments:
First of all, knock it off with the whole meat = man thing. Nevermind that I break down and have a burger with you once every 2-3 years. I do it to make you happy. Being a vegetarian is widely accepted as a healthy and morally-valid lifestyle.
Second of all, you have to get past the idea that every good date translates into a good relationship. You also need to get past this complete distrust of women you seem to have adopted as your life's motto. Not every girl is lying when they say they don't want a relationship.
And even if they are...who are we as men to be judgemental of their motives? Perhaps they have the intentions of sparing your feelings, or avoiding conflict - it is not fair to assume that these girls are trying to "pull one over on you" so they can go home and giggle about how much of a chump you are. Again, even if you're right to distrust their answer, you're probably wrong to distrust their character.
I know this sounds like I'm fishing for a date or something. Trust me - I'm not. I am, however, trying to get you to moderate your views a little bit. As fun as it is to be a cynical, brooding twenty-something, there comes a time when you need to put out your cigarette, take off the black turtle-neck (its June for pete's sake), and smile. Life isn't a bad as you want it to be. And I'm not saying everything is all happy-happy-joy-joy either - just that you should figure out what things are really worth developing ulcers over.
JW,
1) "Meat = Man" -God. 'Nuff said.
2) Every good date does not translate into a good relationship. After several dates, even that does not translate into a good relationship. However, I'd at least like a SHOT at a relationship. Plus, it's even harder when they say they don't want a relationship, but they end up in one. Just.. not with you.
Indeed, if their intent was to spare my feelings, or avoiding conflict, then they ARE lying, and I should absolutely be skeptical of their motives. Lying = "pulling one over on you" If they didn't think they could get away with it, they wouldn't lie.
Moderation of my views would be great. Anytime you've got a convincing argument that points to me not spending the rest of my life alone, I'm ready to hear it.
I need a smoke.
Skeptical of their motives, yes. Automatically assuming that their mean-spirited bitches who hate you and want to see you suffer, no.
Do I really need to start telling you about how you don't need no man...I mean woman... to make you happy?
I never called them "mean-spirited bitches." Point of fact, those are YOUR words.
How's that date to the prom looking NOW?
You are right - those are my words. Words that adequately described the way your feelings toward women came off.
I swear, it's like arguing with a republican.
Woah, woah there everyone. It is crazy to see how quickly people can jump on each other when a debate happens. Maybe we all just need to settle down and realize that you are both right. First of all, WAY to many women lie to spare a guys feelings and it just makes them feel worse in the long run. Knock it off, it's childish. Second of all, just because a string of women have not wanted relationships doesn't mean there won't be one in your future. Know I know you are just bitching and venting. That's cool, man. We all need to do that. But you also have to keep a positive outlook on things. Wether you mean to or not, thinking this way affects how people see you. Women included. Just like acting, if something doesn't go well, you have to shake it off and approach the next one with an open mind.
He started it.
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