Weirdest dream last night... so odd... (listening to: People at work)
So, I fell asleep very late last night after a phone conversation that left me a little unsettled, and I had the oddest dream. It's really two, but they seemed to merge together, and their themes are similar, so I'm classifying it as one.
I begin the dream in the middle (as most of mine begin). I'm either in high school or college, and I'm participating in a mock trial. I'm one of four or five defense attorneys, and I'm the only one who brought the case brief. The prosecuting attorney stands up and delivers her case, and the judge keeps asking her to slow down, to repeat her evidence, because she's going too fast, and it doesn't make sense to anyone. She finally gets done, and it's my turn to go.
I stand up, and open my plain manila folder and inside is my case, torn neatly into fourths. I suddenly flash back to me ripping the stack of paper the long way, and then the short way and putting it back into the folder. (Why? Who knows. I'm an idiot.) So, I give the pieces to another lawyer on my team, and ask the judge for a recess. Next thing I know I'm in a room (at home? in my office?) and I have a copy of the case. I try to run back to the courtroom, but I keep falling, and I'm running really slow. Time is going by in normal speed, but I can't make my legs move. At this point, I realize it's a dream, and the thought I have is, "I really hope I don't wake up. I think that being a lawyer in a mock trial would be fun."
Next thing I know, I'm waiting outside a room (same deal, high school or college). The walls are all brick, and there are people everywhere. I'm at an audition for "Songs For a New World." Everyone is practicing their songs, and I realize I'm not ready. I don't have a song. I know songs from the show, though, so I go to the auditioner and say, "I'm really good at singing the songs from this show, can I just do one of those for you?" She doesn't answer me, I don't think, but I get the idea that it won't work. So, I decide to sing a medley of verses and snippets from "Jesus Christ Superstar," but I can't remember the piece I want to put in the middle. I'm picturing it in my head, and It's going to start with "Everything's Alright," and end with "Hosanna," but there's a male ballad from the show that I want to put in the middle, but no matter how hard I try, I can't remember it.
Then, I wake up, and go find my JCSuperstar music (Yes, I own the music. Shut up.) and I still can't find the song in there. I'm convinced it exists, though.
What does this mean? I have my thoughts... The common theme is not being good enough, or not being prepared. Not having what I need to succeed. I'm confident in my abilities, willing to do what it takes to get the job done, but something is standing in my way. No matter how hard I try to fix the situation, it's doomed from the start, and I seem to only end up worse off than how I started.
However, this is a wholly depressing way to look at my subconscious, so I'm willing to accept alternate interpretations. Anyone?
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4 comments:
I think that this is a fair interpretation of your dreams. At least it is the most apparent interpretation.
I'm just wondering if you really are confident in both your ability and willingness to get the things done that you have set out for yourself. If you were, do you think you'd really have subconcious feelings of inadequacy? Perhaps your rational self knows that you have every reason to be confident but you lack said confidence anyway. This happens to me a lot (and probably a lot of other people). I think its ok until you let it stop you from doing something.
It is true that sometimes there are obstacles out there that we can do nothing about. We all have them. But be careful not to confuse them with your self because you might talk yourself out of overcoming an obstacle thats totally managable.
You know, Nicolas, you should try not to get worried, try not to turn onto problems that upset you. Oh, don't you know everything's all right, yes everything's fine...
J- What?
"It is true that sometimes there are obstacles out there that we can do nothing about. We all have them. But be careful not to confuse them with your self because you might talk yourself out of overcoming an obstacle thats totally managable."
If the obstacle is not able to be overcome (and, yes, I can think of one right off the top of my head), then even if I confuse the immutability of the obstacle with my own failings, that doesn't make the obstacle any less immutable... does it?
My point was that the obstacle might seem insurmountable because you see it as coming from outside of yourself. Obstacles from within are completely managable once you've realized that they're your own doing.
If you can learn to understand what obstacles are exogeneous and which are endogeneous, you might find that what once APPEAPRED to be an insurmountable one is, in fact, not so.
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