Standing On My Feet...

And praying to God they know how to jump. (listening to "Let Go" by Frou Frou)

Here's what I'm thinking: What does it take to make something work? A recipe, an idea, a thought, a philosophy, a dinner reservation, a friendship, an assembly line, a picture frame...

motivation.

Impetus, the drive, desire, the Mojo. Something deep inside of you that forces you to re-examine everything and find purpose in an otherwise hopeless situation. I used to wonder why people let themselves get so hopelessly lost in an idea that they couldn't see the forest for the trees. How do people get so caught up in what they think they can do or find that they've totally lost sight of where they are?

And now I'm one of those people. You stand there, and you say.. "I'm only going this far, and then I'll see what really matters." And then someone comes along and draws a line in the sand saying, "Come this much farther." So you look at the line and you think, "Why not? I've come this far?" So you take that extra step, you hope that extra hope and dream that one more wish and pretty soon you look back at where you've been and all you see are lines that fade back into infinity. You don't know where you stand anymore. You don't know where you are. And whoever brought you all that way has grown bored of the game and moved on to someone else they can tempt across the line, and they forget about you except to say, "I knew them once."

I had the drive to step across that line. I knew what it took to make things work. And in my belligerence, I thought that my passion was enough. But here I stand far off my path, and all I can see are lines I've crossed... and everything I did was to try and find that one good thing. To help someone, to be someone, to provide, to care, to comfort, to love. And it's cold and lonely here on this road now. And the wind blows through the leaves and I swear I can hear:

I knew him once.