That is NOT the real Benjamin Franklin. I am 99% sure. (listening to: "Walking in Memphis" by Marc Cohen)
A little taste of one of my new obsessions for you all. For all the hype that The Office gets, it's underrated. Trust me. It's so brilliantly and subtly acted and written, sometimes you forget you're watching a sitcom. Go get it. /rant.
So, my little blogites, what shall we talk about today? It's been so long...
I leave for Orlando in a few days. The yearly business trip isn't to Vegas this year, which is somewhat disappointing. However, there's Disney fun to be had, and if Spike's fervor for all things Mickey is any indication, I should be in for some good times. If anyone has any suggestions for things to do while I'm there, I'm all big-black-mouse-ears.
I'm not involved in a show right now. It's so strange to be without work. This is the first time in over a year that I haven't had anything to do besides CSz, and it's unsettling. I haven't been to any auditions, granted. There hasn't been anything out there auditioning right now that interested me. Maybe that's wrong? As an actor, should I be looking for work even if I'm not into it? Just for the sake of working? Somehow that seems wrong to me, but if it means the difference between working and not working... maybe that's the way to go?
Life is very interesting right now. I feel like I'm on the verge of something very big, but it's clouded over and I can't see it. It may be just a result of me feeling like I'm in the doldrums right now even though things are going as well as I could expect them to, but I don't know... Eli's coming.
END TRANSMISSION...
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Best. Birthday. Evar.
OMGWTFBBQ!!11!!1!!!eleventyone! (listening to: soft explosions in the distance)
This now adorns my new sunroom in my new place. And I can officially die a happy man.
Apparently Natalie has spent the last month wrangling all of my friends into lying to me about what is happening for my birthday. Subtle plans were laid all throughout the last couple weeks, and they all came to fruition last night. Somehow, everyone ended up at my new place last night, and fun was being had, though a few people looked like they were just there because they had nothing else to do. Natalie called me up and told me that she needed to talk to me outside. So, I went outside, and there she was, standing next to the greatest arcade game ever made by man. I freaked out for a bit, and all my friends came running out of my place to share in the joy. Ten minutes later, we had my new girl plugged in, and lasers flying.
The game is great, and in really nice shape, considering it's nearly as old as I am. But the best part was just how Frank Capra the whole moment was. Nearly all of my friends had pitched in to help buy this thing for me, and I had never felt so well-liked before. It was a great feeling.
Thank you so much to everyone who made this possible, I feel truly blessed. God bless you all.
END TRANSMISSION...
This now adorns my new sunroom in my new place. And I can officially die a happy man.
Apparently Natalie has spent the last month wrangling all of my friends into lying to me about what is happening for my birthday. Subtle plans were laid all throughout the last couple weeks, and they all came to fruition last night. Somehow, everyone ended up at my new place last night, and fun was being had, though a few people looked like they were just there because they had nothing else to do. Natalie called me up and told me that she needed to talk to me outside. So, I went outside, and there she was, standing next to the greatest arcade game ever made by man. I freaked out for a bit, and all my friends came running out of my place to share in the joy. Ten minutes later, we had my new girl plugged in, and lasers flying.
The game is great, and in really nice shape, considering it's nearly as old as I am. But the best part was just how Frank Capra the whole moment was. Nearly all of my friends had pitched in to help buy this thing for me, and I had never felt so well-liked before. It was a great feeling.
Thank you so much to everyone who made this possible, I feel truly blessed. God bless you all.
END TRANSMISSION...
Friday, August 03, 2007
Denouement
As our story comes to a close... (listening to: creepy silence)
--DAY 3--
Again, we are woken up by small giggles at a time when not even the elderly should be up. This time, Natalie promises me that she won't be upset if I don't come up right away, and thanks me for plugging in her phone. I earnestly try to get back to sleep, but it's no use. I'm up.
Today's plan is to prepare for the arrival of just the inner circle of family for late lunch/dinner. Fran is scurrying about trying to make sure Harris and Jackie are taken care of, and Natalie really wants to go to Kent to see where she went to school. I'm game, so we get into the car.
It's a pleasant drive to Kent, and we pass it in quiet reverie (read: hungover headaches), punctuated by pleasant conversation (read: Natalie saying something, me saying "what?" and her deciding it's not worth repeating). When we arrive, I'm ferried around the campus, shown the pretty buildings and told the anecdotes- All standard fare when showing someone around your old campus. But this is Kent we're talking about, so everything's a little bit different. We went to the memorial, saw the sectioned off places where the students fell, and when it's warm and you're hungover, everything seems a little graver. Hearing Natalie tell the story Neil Young put to music just seemed.. I don't know. It hit me harder than I thought it would.
From Kent, we go to a local drive-in type restaurant for a sandwich called a "Salad Boy." From what I understand, it's a vegetarian's dreamboat. Personally, I could barely stomach the sight of it. It had pickles. 'Nuff said. I enjoyed my cheeseburger and a local version of Quepapas, washing it all down with a delicious peanut butter milkshake. No, Fran, I did NOT spill any in your wonderful automobile... maybe.
Now beings the portion of our tale wherein our heroes drive aimlessly along the cliffs and hills of Eastern Ohio. Natalie is really a fantastic tour guide, telling stories about each road and taking me to a place where giant birds play... or rather, used to.. before something terrible happened that no one seems to want to talk about. About an hour later, we end up at Mom's house, and she shows me pictures of young Natalie, and we watch golf, and nearly fall asleep right then and there. No time for sleeping!
One quick stop before we return to Brain and Fran's house at a pet store so Natalie can make her little happy growling noise at the puppies and kitties, and then I need to redeem my weekend with a quick purchase at Home Depot. Replacement plant holders. I mend what I reap, folks.
Finally returning back to the house, Brain has concocted roast beast which the very smell of sets angels singing on clouds far away, and I'm suddenly much less tired. We sit down to eat, and Dad is eyeing me with a somewhat auspicious eye. I aim for conversation with the man, and he's amiable and open. So far, so good.
The rest of the evening passes languidly, mostly conversation and wine sipping until the very end of the evening when Natalie, Fran, Guinevere, Brain and I all have a talk about the Summers women. Seems that they are a lively bunch, fraught with complications and neuroses. I take careful notes, realizing that not only will there be a test later, but I'm actually living it every day. This is good information for me to have, I think. The girls seem to be unerringly self-aware of their particular neediness, and there is no excuses or blame placed. It is what it is, and to be honest.. the upside far outweighs the bad.
Now it is bedtime, and this time I know that I'm getting up in 5 hours. Somehow, as I turn out the lights, I know that it was all worthwhile.
END TRANSMISSION...
--DAY 3--
Again, we are woken up by small giggles at a time when not even the elderly should be up. This time, Natalie promises me that she won't be upset if I don't come up right away, and thanks me for plugging in her phone. I earnestly try to get back to sleep, but it's no use. I'm up.
Today's plan is to prepare for the arrival of just the inner circle of family for late lunch/dinner. Fran is scurrying about trying to make sure Harris and Jackie are taken care of, and Natalie really wants to go to Kent to see where she went to school. I'm game, so we get into the car.
It's a pleasant drive to Kent, and we pass it in quiet reverie (read: hungover headaches), punctuated by pleasant conversation (read: Natalie saying something, me saying "what?" and her deciding it's not worth repeating). When we arrive, I'm ferried around the campus, shown the pretty buildings and told the anecdotes- All standard fare when showing someone around your old campus. But this is Kent we're talking about, so everything's a little bit different. We went to the memorial, saw the sectioned off places where the students fell, and when it's warm and you're hungover, everything seems a little graver. Hearing Natalie tell the story Neil Young put to music just seemed.. I don't know. It hit me harder than I thought it would.
From Kent, we go to a local drive-in type restaurant for a sandwich called a "Salad Boy." From what I understand, it's a vegetarian's dreamboat. Personally, I could barely stomach the sight of it. It had pickles. 'Nuff said. I enjoyed my cheeseburger and a local version of Quepapas, washing it all down with a delicious peanut butter milkshake. No, Fran, I did NOT spill any in your wonderful automobile... maybe.
Now beings the portion of our tale wherein our heroes drive aimlessly along the cliffs and hills of Eastern Ohio. Natalie is really a fantastic tour guide, telling stories about each road and taking me to a place where giant birds play... or rather, used to.. before something terrible happened that no one seems to want to talk about. About an hour later, we end up at Mom's house, and she shows me pictures of young Natalie, and we watch golf, and nearly fall asleep right then and there. No time for sleeping!
One quick stop before we return to Brain and Fran's house at a pet store so Natalie can make her little happy growling noise at the puppies and kitties, and then I need to redeem my weekend with a quick purchase at Home Depot. Replacement plant holders. I mend what I reap, folks.
Finally returning back to the house, Brain has concocted roast beast which the very smell of sets angels singing on clouds far away, and I'm suddenly much less tired. We sit down to eat, and Dad is eyeing me with a somewhat auspicious eye. I aim for conversation with the man, and he's amiable and open. So far, so good.
The rest of the evening passes languidly, mostly conversation and wine sipping until the very end of the evening when Natalie, Fran, Guinevere, Brain and I all have a talk about the Summers women. Seems that they are a lively bunch, fraught with complications and neuroses. I take careful notes, realizing that not only will there be a test later, but I'm actually living it every day. This is good information for me to have, I think. The girls seem to be unerringly self-aware of their particular neediness, and there is no excuses or blame placed. It is what it is, and to be honest.. the upside far outweighs the bad.
Now it is bedtime, and this time I know that I'm getting up in 5 hours. Somehow, as I turn out the lights, I know that it was all worthwhile.
END TRANSMISSION...
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Intermission
I know you are all waiting with bated breath for Day 3, but I have a breaking news flash. (listening to: Massive Happiness in my Brain)
Madjai will be playing Barry Champlain in the Chameleon Theatre Circle production of Talk Radio!!
This is a GREAT show that was written by Eric Bogosian in the early 80's, and just closed on Broadway. Liev Schreiber earned a Tony nomination for his role as Barry, so naturally, he and I are now best-of-friends.
If you can make it, please, please, PLEASE come see this show. I promise you it will be awesome.
Oh, and PS- Day 3 is coming.
END TRANSMISSION...
Madjai will be playing Barry Champlain in the Chameleon Theatre Circle production of Talk Radio!!
This is a GREAT show that was written by Eric Bogosian in the early 80's, and just closed on Broadway. Liev Schreiber earned a Tony nomination for his role as Barry, so naturally, he and I are now best-of-friends.
If you can make it, please, please, PLEASE come see this show. I promise you it will be awesome.
Oh, and PS- Day 3 is coming.
END TRANSMISSION...
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Richfield, Part Deux
Today is ACTUALLY the day I meet Francesca. (listening to: "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald" by Gordon Lightfoot)
--DAY 2--
We're woken up by the sound of high pitched laughter. I'm roused from a pretty kick-ass Sports Night dream in which I'm producing my first show, and things are getting pretty intense. But, that's neither here nor there. Natalie goes upstairs to play with the kids and tells me I can sleep if I want to. I look at the clock- 8:15am. sigh
I clean up a bit so as not to scare the little ones, and I swear I hear a ticking noise as I look at Natalie holding little Jackie in her arms. I'm introduced (yes, for the first time) to Francesca and Harris. We all lounge around for a while watching silent television in which two men in primary-colored shirts bounce around an animated house in an attempt to teach very young children colors, or weather, or some other socially useful concept. Coffee is blissfully made, and as I sip, the very curious Harris comes up to me and asks me a few questions, giggles at my answers and then runs away, only to repeat the process a few minutes later. I'm impressed at his ability to pronounce my name correctly, and I find that all three syllables sound adorable when you lisp on the last one.
Brain takes off to go and get breakfast for us, and while he's gone, Natalie plays with the kids while Fran and I talk about general getting-to-know-you stuff.
Greasy sausage gravy over eggs arrives, and I dig into the meal like it's my job. Jackie gets to eat from her high-chair next to me, and does her best to actually put food in her mouth, a task which is ultimately negligibly successful. Fran is very patient with her, though, and I swear that ticking sound gets louder as I look over at Natalie. Harris punctuates the meal by throwing a piece of sausage at my feet and then demanding orange juice (hopefully unrelated occurances), and after breakfast there's more exaggerated television, and after a while, it's nap time for the kids. At this point, it's made very clear to me that waking the children is very bad. Like Stealing Jobu's rum kind of bad. I nod and file that information for later.
Natalie and Fran dash off to run some errands, leaving Brain and I to set up for the day's festivities: Harris' big 0-3 party. Brain and Fran have bought Harris an inflatable slide for his third birthday, and it comes with its own fan to keep it inflated. This thing is a monster:
[[Picture of the inflatable giant toy]]
Brain and I give it a test run, and we also set up some Cornholing and horseshoes. Things are going smashingly, and I should have taken that as a sign that something bad was about to happen.
The women return with groceries and ice, and Brain goes off to take a shower. The girls need help carrying the 50 lbs of ice they bought down to the coolers, so I go outside. As I turn to close the front door, the doors don't line up right. I try pulling the door shut a little more forcefully with no luck. I give it one last little tug, and the door slams shut with a force never before seen by mankind. It makes a horrible, bassy booming noise and all three of us freeze as I realize what I've done. As I wait for the bat to come flying out of the batter's hands and onto my head, Fran's eyes slowly slide to the baby monitor in her hand.
Silence...
Silence...
Nope. No such luck, Madjai. The baby wails, and my heart sinks into my stomach. I've woken the baby. Pandora's box is opened, and it's my fault. I heft the two heavier bags of ice as penance for my crimes, and Atlas-like, haul them downstairs. Fran, God bless her, comes down to help me, assuring me that it's ok, and that it's not my fault, and that she thinks it's really funny. I begin to feel a bit better, but had I known then that waking the kids was the most benign of offenses I would have commit this day, I would certainly have put myself on ice.
Things are going alright until about 2:30 when Guinevere arrives, Natalie's other sister. It's almost time for the party, and people are arriving and hanging out on the deck. On this deck, they have two ornate plant hangers, which Brain has tied balloons to. I'm standing next to one of them, and as I turn to walk away, my hip hits it, and it snaps off from the deck. I'm standing there holding this hanger with the balloons still floating from it, and people start laughing. Now, I'm told that either Fran or Guin has done this before, and someone points at where the third hanger used to be. Sure enough, there's the base of the hanger still screwed to the deck. Somehow, that fails to make me feel any better.
The rest of the afternoon is lazy, most filled with me being not terrible at cornholing or horseshoeing, getting to know everyone and such regular party activites. I even spend one game of Horseshoes standing next to Dad, who is warming up to me... which is very relieving. I make my way back up the deck to chat with Mom and some of Natalie's cousins, and I'm not up there for five minutes when I proceed to break the OTHER HANGER. I'm not kidding. This could not have been written any worse. In my extreme shame, I don't even bother explaining. I just literally run inside, and close the door to the guest room. It takes about 10 minutes for Natalie to come and find me, and even she can't help from laughing. She cajoles me into rejoining the party, but I'm not ready to go back out there yet. We decide to play a quick game of darts to re-establish my confidence. Naturally, I jump out to an early and decisive lead, and with two quick LUCKY darts, Natalie takes me down. Great. Awesome. Fantastic. Super.
Slowly, the day manages to get less surreal. Natalie catches a delicious bluegill, but had already sent me inside to get her wine, so I missed it. More games, more drinking, and more fun occur. Sooner or later, we're sitting around playing Balderdash, and the drunker we get, the more fun it is. Some highlights from this game:
Finally, only the Die-Hards are left, and we decide to play poker. Yes, please. The game drags on for a while, and in an attempt to get it done with and go to bed (It's 3am)... Folks, you heard it here first: I cheat. I cheat so hard. I'm talking looking through the deck to find the card I want kind of cheating. I feel less bad about it, because no one is paying enough attention to catch me.
Brain gets the mega-sweet idea to start doing shots. He pours a shot, and you have to toast with it. The toasts go around, and we all shoot this.. look.. I'm trying to find the words to describe this liquid. Here's what I got:
It's something like that.
Needless to say, the night takes a downward turn after this, and it's about an hour later that Natalie has passed out fully clothed, and I plug in her cell phone and turn in myself. It's 4AM, and I don't know it, but I'm getting up in four hours...
--DAY 2--
We're woken up by the sound of high pitched laughter. I'm roused from a pretty kick-ass Sports Night dream in which I'm producing my first show, and things are getting pretty intense. But, that's neither here nor there. Natalie goes upstairs to play with the kids and tells me I can sleep if I want to. I look at the clock- 8:15am. sigh
I clean up a bit so as not to scare the little ones, and I swear I hear a ticking noise as I look at Natalie holding little Jackie in her arms. I'm introduced (yes, for the first time) to Francesca and Harris. We all lounge around for a while watching silent television in which two men in primary-colored shirts bounce around an animated house in an attempt to teach very young children colors, or weather, or some other socially useful concept. Coffee is blissfully made, and as I sip, the very curious Harris comes up to me and asks me a few questions, giggles at my answers and then runs away, only to repeat the process a few minutes later. I'm impressed at his ability to pronounce my name correctly, and I find that all three syllables sound adorable when you lisp on the last one.
Brain takes off to go and get breakfast for us, and while he's gone, Natalie plays with the kids while Fran and I talk about general getting-to-know-you stuff.
Greasy sausage gravy over eggs arrives, and I dig into the meal like it's my job. Jackie gets to eat from her high-chair next to me, and does her best to actually put food in her mouth, a task which is ultimately negligibly successful. Fran is very patient with her, though, and I swear that ticking sound gets louder as I look over at Natalie. Harris punctuates the meal by throwing a piece of sausage at my feet and then demanding orange juice (hopefully unrelated occurances), and after breakfast there's more exaggerated television, and after a while, it's nap time for the kids. At this point, it's made very clear to me that waking the children is very bad. Like Stealing Jobu's rum kind of bad. I nod and file that information for later.
Natalie and Fran dash off to run some errands, leaving Brain and I to set up for the day's festivities: Harris' big 0-3 party. Brain and Fran have bought Harris an inflatable slide for his third birthday, and it comes with its own fan to keep it inflated. This thing is a monster:
[[Picture of the inflatable giant toy]]
Brain and I give it a test run, and we also set up some Cornholing and horseshoes. Things are going smashingly, and I should have taken that as a sign that something bad was about to happen.
The women return with groceries and ice, and Brain goes off to take a shower. The girls need help carrying the 50 lbs of ice they bought down to the coolers, so I go outside. As I turn to close the front door, the doors don't line up right. I try pulling the door shut a little more forcefully with no luck. I give it one last little tug, and the door slams shut with a force never before seen by mankind. It makes a horrible, bassy booming noise and all three of us freeze as I realize what I've done. As I wait for the bat to come flying out of the batter's hands and onto my head, Fran's eyes slowly slide to the baby monitor in her hand.
Silence...
Silence...
Nope. No such luck, Madjai. The baby wails, and my heart sinks into my stomach. I've woken the baby. Pandora's box is opened, and it's my fault. I heft the two heavier bags of ice as penance for my crimes, and Atlas-like, haul them downstairs. Fran, God bless her, comes down to help me, assuring me that it's ok, and that it's not my fault, and that she thinks it's really funny. I begin to feel a bit better, but had I known then that waking the kids was the most benign of offenses I would have commit this day, I would certainly have put myself on ice.
Things are going alright until about 2:30 when Guinevere arrives, Natalie's other sister. It's almost time for the party, and people are arriving and hanging out on the deck. On this deck, they have two ornate plant hangers, which Brain has tied balloons to. I'm standing next to one of them, and as I turn to walk away, my hip hits it, and it snaps off from the deck. I'm standing there holding this hanger with the balloons still floating from it, and people start laughing. Now, I'm told that either Fran or Guin has done this before, and someone points at where the third hanger used to be. Sure enough, there's the base of the hanger still screwed to the deck. Somehow, that fails to make me feel any better.
The rest of the afternoon is lazy, most filled with me being not terrible at cornholing or horseshoeing, getting to know everyone and such regular party activites. I even spend one game of Horseshoes standing next to Dad, who is warming up to me... which is very relieving. I make my way back up the deck to chat with Mom and some of Natalie's cousins, and I'm not up there for five minutes when I proceed to break the OTHER HANGER. I'm not kidding. This could not have been written any worse. In my extreme shame, I don't even bother explaining. I just literally run inside, and close the door to the guest room. It takes about 10 minutes for Natalie to come and find me, and even she can't help from laughing. She cajoles me into rejoining the party, but I'm not ready to go back out there yet. We decide to play a quick game of darts to re-establish my confidence. Naturally, I jump out to an early and decisive lead, and with two quick LUCKY darts, Natalie takes me down. Great. Awesome. Fantastic. Super.
Slowly, the day manages to get less surreal. Natalie catches a delicious bluegill, but had already sent me inside to get her wine, so I missed it. More games, more drinking, and more fun occur. Sooner or later, we're sitting around playing Balderdash, and the drunker we get, the more fun it is. Some highlights from this game:
- Tzizit - What your wife does to your tie.
- What can't two people do in South Carolina at the same time? Ride a tandem bike
- Misspelling the name of the person you're trying to lie about isn't very convincing.
- Natalie should NEVER, EVER be trusted to read everyone's sheets with the same amount of composure.
Finally, only the Die-Hards are left, and we decide to play poker. Yes, please. The game drags on for a while, and in an attempt to get it done with and go to bed (It's 3am)... Folks, you heard it here first: I cheat. I cheat so hard. I'm talking looking through the deck to find the card I want kind of cheating. I feel less bad about it, because no one is paying enough attention to catch me.
Brain gets the mega-sweet idea to start doing shots. He pours a shot, and you have to toast with it. The toasts go around, and we all shoot this.. look.. I'm trying to find the words to describe this liquid. Here's what I got:
Imagine taking the blood of a demon and mixing it with the sweat of a maggot, fermenting it in barrels of wormwood while those barrels are smoked in the breath of the whore of Babylon. Then, once this diabolical concoction is prepared, pour it into a dirty sink pipe and serve over razor blades.
It's something like that.
Needless to say, the night takes a downward turn after this, and it's about an hour later that Natalie has passed out fully clothed, and I plug in her cell phone and turn in myself. It's 4AM, and I don't know it, but I'm getting up in four hours...
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